Day 144 - Why didn't anyone stop me?

Many many years ago, I was in a job that paid well, but I was desperately miserable at. It wasn't terribly hard, and I was extremely good at what I was doing, but I was just unhappy as could be. To make up for my growing unhappiness, I developed a big shopping problem. Designer handbags, makeup by the box load, every book that caught my eye, shirts and jeans and funny colorful socks, and most every scent of candle at Yankee Candle - they all found their way into my hands and into my home. And while that sounds okay, it wasn't. I would walk into stores, feel euphoric that I was shopping, and then everything would blank out around me. Sometimes I would find myself back at home surrounded by bags of junk and not even remember how I got back to the apartment.

I had a problem. A big one. While the shopping made me happy for a few minutes, it didn't make me happy forever, and I was wasting money that I should have been saving. Eventually I left that job and being a lot happier, I stopped shopping so much. In fact, it's pretty rare now that I buy anything for myself except maybe nail polish or lip gloss once in a while. Or funny colorful socks, which I still have a love for. But last night and today in Second Life, I found myself back in that blacked out, euphoric, how the hell did I get home? kind of place again.




I've been kind of down in the dumps the past 2-3 days. Part of it is the weather. I don't do well in rainy, gray, yucky kind of weather. The other part is just me being sad. So going to The Arcade was a mistake. There are many cute things, but I didn't need most of them. I just needed to shop. It made me happy for a little bit. But now here I am, still down, holding these items that will probably never see the light of day again, and kicking myself for spending so much.

Blah. I'll get over it. I just needed to vent a little. We can't be up all the time.

At least I got the platinum hamster I wanted. So there's that.