The past few months have been rough. Any thing I've done with the family has been done with a lot of crashing, or I have to derender EVERYTHING around me to just stay with them. All the pictures I've shown that I didn't take from someone else's Flickr have been done with my computer grunting and wheezing next to me. But I kept going because I love SL, I love taking pictures, and what else could I do? SL helps me more than any drug when my anxiety gets really bad, especially since my anxiety attacks usually happen at night when I can't go out for a walk or anything. I love it.
But even with my love for SL and my family, I've been getting more and more discouraged. All the decorating I did in our house was done slowly and with a LOT of freezing and crashing and I couldn't really be in the house anyway. It was easier to be out on the beach, but not that much easier. I couldn't visit my girls' rooms or go see the Oleanders or go shopping at any events until almost the last day. Staying up on my platform was basically becoming my SLife. I started to just not want to log in at all.
I've been hoping for the past few months that maybe for my birthday this month, I could talk to my RL partner about a new computer. But a few weeks ago, we had to have work done to our house that put pretty much everything out of the budget for a while. The joys of home ownership, am I right? *laughs* So I put the thought of a new computer out of my head and tried to figure out how to make mine chug along a little longer.
However, I forget that my RL partner pays more attention to me than I realize sometimes.
This morning I was getting myself ready to head out to see my parents for the day when a very normal-for-us thing happened. I heard a THUMP! Then a DINGDONG as the doorbell rang. Then VROOM as a truck drove away. My RL guy is kind of an Amazon freak so we get packages delivered almost daily. [these packages almost never end up anywhere except in the living room, unopened. I dunno.] On my way out the door, I noticed the big box on the porch said DELL. It's not too uncommon for computer equipment to end up on our doorstep due to his job. For the briefest moment I thought, "Wouldn't that be nice if it was a new computer for me?" But I put it out of my mind because I knew it couldn't be for me.
But guess what? IT WAS!!!!
When I got home this evening, he came out of his office and handed me a box. "This is a power supply. You need to open up this big box, then open up your computer and pull out your video card and hard drive. Then pull out the power supply in this computer and install the rest. Good luck."
Well. *laughs* I'm not the most technical girl in the world, which he well knows, so he DID most of it because I was unscrewing things that didn't need to be and obviously I don't know where everything goes. But I did help!
After installing a few things and then going to get dinner, I was ready to get into Second Life.
Holy... I'd forgotten how FUN it can be! My sister pulled me over with them and for the first time, I didn't have to immediately start derendering her landscaping. I could cam all over their land! I could run around with the kids! We went shopping and I was able to chase Riley all over the sim! We went to look at hair and I was able to do Gyazo gifs for the first time ever! We went to try out dances and I had no problems! After I said goodnight to them, I was able to go shopping, then do to a blog post with shadows! I could run around our house and then sit and enjoy it.
I'm so so happy right now. And so dang grateful that I'm as loved as I am - in both worlds.
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