I've been thinking about a couple of the comments to my post about friendship. Actually, friendship is something I've been thinking about a lot lately. As a few of my friends know, I was recently contacted by an old friend who had hurt me very much a few years ago. But there's something funny about us, I suppose, in that after a few cautious emails, 1 apology and 1 forgiveness, we have pretty much picked up where we left off. You don't often find friends like that.
But SL friendships can be different. It's not just the distance. It's not. It's the fact that you can have distance in SL. And for some of us, we're terribly shy to reach out and close the gap in that distance. I was telling Cen just about an hour ago that earlier tonight I was sitting alone and I looked at my friends list, and about 20 people were online. But yet I didn't feel like I could IM any of them to just come sit with me. I didn't even feel like I could IM the group. It isn't because of who they are. I keep a tidy friends list of people that I believe are worth something, and the group is the same way. It's because of who I am. I am very shy, and I can be very reserved at times, especially when I first meet someone. But if you get to know me, you will find out that I can be kind of chatty. And I think THAT is what keeps me from IMing people. I'm scared that I'm going to be TOO chatty and they're going to get tired of me.
I think that the more that I realize this, the more that I think about it, the better it is because it means that I can change it if I wish to. There are times when I need to be alone. Yes, even in SL. But there are times when I very much need someone to just hang out with. Tonight was really one of those times.
To the anonymous commenter - Hi. :) Thank you so much for reading my blog. It still amazes me that people not only read this blog, but keep coming back. I often say that I write for myself, but what good is a blogger without an audience? I would do nothing but write in my paper diary if I was truly writing just for myself. If you see me in world, please feel free to come up to me and say hello. Or IM me whenever you'd like. If I am busy, which is rare lately since I seem to be uninspired as far as building goes, I will tell you. But I do like IMs. :)
As for the rest of you...if I get up the guts to IM you out of the blue, be kind. LOL You might find my conversation is a bit strained at first. It'll get better. It usually does.
You know...I'm probably just going to delete this post when I wake up. lol