Friday, April 26, 2013

Day 219 - Sometimes We Must Let It Be

I spend a lot of time in SL alone. Sometimes I don't mind. If I need to do blog pics or put outfits together or dash out to a store to grab one thing, having people with me would be kind of useless. But other times...

Day 219 - Sometimes We Must Let It Be


I'll admit that I'm having a down day. Something happened last night that caused me unnecessary [and unexpected] anxiety and since then I've been down. I know it's not forever, but it's one of those times where I pray that the part of my mind that easily forgets people out would just kick in. Part of me thinks, "Well, it's karma from what you did over 5 years ago." But good grief, have I not repaid that already?? Go visit someone else, karma!

So I'm not really great at making friends in SL these days. When someone appears to be getting closer, I shy away. I run through things in my head. "What do they actually want? Are they just here to get information? Do they want something from me? Will they leave once they get it? If they ARE just being nice, will they leave as soon as they realize that I'm bad at conversation? And what if I do attempt to be chatty with them? Am I going to annoy them? If I annoy them, they'll leave." And on and on and on.

I'm not sure I really know how to just hang out in SL at this point. I don't really like clubs. I'm not into the whole "Omg, let's be sexxyyyyyy...but you know, totally intellectual about it" thing. I just kinda want to hang out at my house, or someone's house, and chat and have fun there. But then it goes back to the whole "They're gonna think I'm not entertaining enough!" Or even worse, "But what if [insert random person here] shows up and I don't like them/they don't like me!" So... yeah.

Ugh. I don't know. lol It's a down day. I'll get over it. I'm just in one of those "I want to wipe my friends list clean and start over" moods. I'll be better tomorrow.

6 comments:

Lurid Lily said...

I would love to be your friend in world. I've read your blog for years and it's the only one I check on a regular basis. My friends and I do a lot of standing around goofing off together, but I'm often afraid of being judged by my username and SL "profession", so I often have trouble making new friends as well.

Pinky said...

I don't think your alone in feeling like that, I spend most of my time at my home in sl alone, My good good sl friends kind of left and have new ones, but nothing has ever felt the same since. But after talking to another friend im going to do something new next week :) a photo challenge where everyone is given a theme and have an hour to take a pic on what ever sim they go to and them see who does the best at the end of the hour. Very excited for it. Best brush up on my wind lights :P But I need to somehow bust out of this bubble.

Laila Laperriere said...

Your not alone Alicia. I get to feeling the same way. I tried to go to a club last week, even bought new dances, and I felt like a fish out of water. LOL, it was awkward. I came to the realization I have turned a page regarding SL, and it really is about decorating, taking pics...etc, you know what I mean. It just happens. On a side note, your a beautiful person, and I look for your plurks, and read your blogs. You write like your standing in front of me talking, and I like that. =) I also think you might be missin someone this week. Cheer up buttercup, I love ya

Korrah said...

I know exactly how you feel i too do the same thing thinking wise about people an over the years I've been in sl i realize that's probably whats caused a lot of my unnecessary drama.But your not alone.I dont go to clubs either me personally i hate them,i cant stand the gesture spam.What i found that helps in sl is getting an sl family.Ok call me crazy yes i know you have your hubby but when hes not online it might be nice to have another person to relate to like a teen daughter or something.Try it branch out.Or have one of your blogger friends who have posted here become an sl family member like a long lost sister *I volunteer!* Just reach out you might be surprised people might just reach back,We cant do everything by ourselves sometimes we just need a little help....IM me inworld if you want to chat!

Alicia Chenaux said...

Aww, thanks, you guys. I'm glad that I'm not really alone in feeling like this, although I wouldn't wish it on anyone really.

Yes, part of the emoness comes from missing Al this week since he's usually the only person I see in SL with any regularity. We have talked about adopting just so that I'm not alone ALL the time, but I'm very very particular about the kind of person I would want to bring into our SLife, so the chances are slim that we'll ever do it. At this point, I'd probably be better off adopting myself out as an adult child. LOL

Khloe Nitely said...

Don't make me come in-world and kick you butt woman! But seriously I am in often and you do have me on your friends list. nornmally I'm staring at the same wall so feel free to knock on my door any time and I will promise to be better about actually doing so :P You aren't alone! Chin up :)

Gawd I am so late in actually writing this. See- lame-o me!