Day 176 - If You Only Knew What The Future Holds

Happy New Year, dear ones!




Now would probably be a good time to talk about the past year, make some deep insight, try to come off as all mystical and philosophic. But I'm not going to do that. It was a good year for me - it had some ups and downs, but hell, that's life, right? :)

My wish for all of you reading is that you have a wonderful 2013. Simple as that. ♥

Day 175 - Twerked my wig off!

You know it's a great party when THIS happens. [Thanks, Lexi, for catching this pic of me!!!]




Much more to say about the party tonight, but I'm exhausted. It was the perfect way to get a start on 2013, I'll say that much. I am surrounded by some of the funniest, most awesome people in the world on a daily basis, and I need to be around them more. After the past week, I know I definitely can't take any friendships for granted.

I'm going to bed tonight with my heart full of love and my cheeks hurting from smiling so much. Not a bad way to end the night. :)

Day 174 - Like Sister Wives, But Better.

I'm sad again today. Another one of my plurk friends, Erica Harcourt, passed away. She was only 30. I wasn't super close to her and I won't pretend to be, but she was a kind person to me. Back in January when I was really sick, she sent me some texts just to check up on me. She was a good person, and she will be very much missed.

But it certainly makes you appreciate your remaining friends a lot more when you lose one...or two...in the course of a week. I told my plurk friends to promise me that they'll take care of themselves this year - I really couldn't stand to lose anyone else.

Like I mentioned yesterday, Ulaa, Aldwyn and I finally got together to take our holiday picture. Well, as Ulaa put it, "We should take our asshole Christmas picture." LOL!!

As we were getting ready to pose, I said it looked like a big cold orgy. She said I was the cream in the Oreo. Either way, this is what came out.




Everyone's ass looks huge in this picture.

I don't even know, y'all. I don't even know.

Day 173 - Like the cream in the cookie

We haven't had a chance to take a holiday picture this year, so finding ourselves all online at the same time with some spare minutes, we hopped up in my snow globe to snap a few pics.




It's really hard to be a model some days.

Since some people have been asking me about the New Year's Eve Eve party [RYLAN.] - well... yes, it's still on. :) It's going to be a smaller event this year than in the past few years. We'll be in our gazebo and it'll be just a time to dance and enjoy each other's company. I'm still not sure of the time yet, but it'll be Sunday, the 30th, probably around 7 or 8pm SLT. I'll lock down the details tomorrow when I know about my schedule more. But I would definitely love to see all my friends and readers there!

Bedtime for this girl. :)

Day 172 - In The Still Of The Night

We're all still down tonight. I guess that's to be expected for a while. Even though in my heart I know she wouldn't want us to be sad, it's hard not to be. And believing as I do, I know she's in a better place where she's strong and healthy and walking tall. To be sad for too long is selfish of me. As she would say, "Suck it up, princess!"

We're planning on building a little memorial garden on Bluebonnet on Renee's parcel at some point. Well, Ulaa plans on building it. I don't have much talent for that. Whenever it's finished, I'll post the SLurl so people can come visit if they want.

But for tonight, it's nice to just be here - quietly.

Day 171 - Goodbye, my friend

There are people you think will always be in your SLife. You might not get to talk to them much, despite the fact that they are your SL neighbor, but you feel better just seeing their name on your radar. Renee GossipGirl was one of those people for me. She came into my SLife probably around 2009 and we became friends. Eventually she moved onto a small parcel next to mine on Bluebonnet. Once in a while she'd wander over to say hi, or she'd pop up in my IMs. No matter what she had going on in her life, if I appeared to be having a bad day, she'd IM me just to let me know that I was cared about.

This evening I received word that my dear friend passed away on December 20th.

Renee had congenital muscular dystrophy. She'd been in a wheelchair for many years. She needed help breathing and eating. She had more reason than anyone else I know to truly be angry at life. And yet, Renee was not angry. In fact, I had never met anyone who had as much joy in them. It radiated through her every word. Even on the worst days, she'd get her treatments at the hospital or from her nurse and then shrug it off.

If I was complaining about someone, she'd ask me, "Who is it so I can run over them in my wheelchair?" She understood my sadness over my fertility issues because she loved children and wanted them for herself. She did things in SL that she couldn't do in RL - like have a wedding [which is how I first met her, when she invited me to her wedding] and have a baby. She was able to work in a store in SL for a time. She had a family in SL. She had a home. She was able to wear heels. She was able to dance.

Renee loved Second Life. She especially loved the holidays in Second Life. The last time we spoke was 2 days before she died and she sent me a notecard. She wanted to know what I wanted for Christmas.

"I can already hear the "you don't have to" song & dance but its my choice. I only have a small list but you are part of it as you are dear to my heart."

You, too, sweetheart. You, too.

This was her last home in Second Life. I'm going to leave it up for a while.

Day 170 - Christmas Eve

Christmas Eve! No, I'm actually not in the Christmas mood still, but I'm quite thankful to the wonderful designers that have given items so freely over the past month. Especially since that's PRETTY much the only time my poor alt, Piper, gets anything new!!




I got bored this evening and decided to overwork my computer to take a picture of Piper and myself in our matchy matchy outfits, skins, and hairs. Piper's shape used to be quite tall and thin, but now she's actually a bit smaller than me, more "teen" like. You can't tell in this photo since we look almost exactly alike with the smiles, but I'm trying to get her face to look a bit more like Mila Kunis. Or Lucy Hale. I haven't decided really which way I'm going. Of course, the next time I bother pulling her out to play with, I'll probably make her tall and more athletic looking. The last time I had changed her shape was last December. So here's looking to December 2013! :-p

Ulaa and I decided to take our alts out and about tonight to get freebies and stuff. Somehow we ended up at a club that is very... ummm...open with nudity. LOL! We were wearing freebie Christmas outfits that aren't exactly high quality, but it didn't really matter since we were immediately run into by a guy with an exposed peen, a naked she-male, and a girl with blingy earrings wearing a Shy Caramel skin.

Good music at the club, though. So there's that.

Day 169 - Confession

So I have a confession to make.

I really have no Christmas spirit this year.




I know, I know. People are all "Oh my god, you should be happy! You should be excited! You should be full of fun and joy!"

Aw, suck it. :-p

I just don't feel like doing anything for Christmas. Buying gifts isn't fun because everyone in my life buys what they want when they want it, and the things they don't buy would be too expensive for me to buy for them. My parents don't really care about Christmas or making a big deal about it, although I did get them both a little something anyway. I don't have children to decorate or bake for. So... yeah.

But, I do feel bad about feeling the way I do. I get cards and feel guilty that I haven't gotten any to send out. People ask me what I want for Christmas, and all I want to say is, "I want it to be over!"

Maybe next year the Christmas spirit will hit me full force. But as for this year... skipped.

Sorry for a bummer of a post. Maybe I'll do better next time.

Day 168 - Finally Normalish

Oh my God, what a week. I've been ridiculously sick, ridiculously busy, and ridiculously exhausted! But everything is kind of calming down, and it's kind of normalish here now.




I can't wait for the holidays to be over, I can tell you all that much. Not that I don't enjoy Christmas and whatnot, but I really want things to just settle down!

Day 167 - Just A Picture

I don't really have much to talk about today. It's been a quiet weekend for me and aside from decorating and hitting up some yard sales for The Arcade, I haven't done much. [BTW, if anyone has the Primrose cottage and the table from Pilot from The Arcade, and you want to give me a gift... :-p Or I'll buy them from you for twice the cost of the gacha, but not higher.]

Anyway, I took this picture tonight. Thought it was pretty enough. :)

Day 166 - That awkward moment...

...when your new outdoor Christmas tree is totally bigger than your house.




Ummm. I guess I'll go looking for a new one. This one doesn't fit the color scheme really anyway.

Yeah, that's it.

Day 165 - I Like Lights In The Snow

I'm really not very good at decorating for winter. I live in a place where winter is often brief, snow almost never sticks, and we complain about cold if it gets under 50 degrees. [Or under 60, in my case, since I'm always cold.] But I do so love the lights in the snow. So our parcel is getting lighttastic!




The decorating of our home isn't finished yet, not by a long shot. The fences will be replaced and I'm still terraforming and moving trees around. But it's starting to come together. And hey, lights! You can't go wrong with lights!

DAy 164 - I'm Sure I Can Fight With Them.

I took advantage of the Black Friday sale on Steam and purchased Dawnguard and Hearthfire for Skyrim, so over the weekend I spent more time playing than I have in the past couple of weeks. I also got some mods, including some clothes, and started a new character so that I could see what it was like to join the Stormcloaks rather than the Imperials. But I totally had to laugh when I forged my new outfit.




Why do my boobs have to be SO HUGE?

Of course, that's a question I keep asking as I look at Flickr or the feeds lately. Prim boobs are all the rage lately. I get it, I guess. They are usually nicer shaped than the regular avatar boobs. But do they have to be so ENORMOUS? If having huge breasts is the only thing you can think of to show off... Well, I just don't know.

The worst part of this whole boob thing lately is the fact that sooooo many women want to show them off without any clothes. I'm sorry, I don't need to see your nipples parading around all over the place. And I MOST DEFINITELY don't need to see all the bodily fluids dripping that seem to accompany these photos lately.

In fact, that may be the worst thing that's come out of this whole boob thing. WHY are people dripping with jizz and spit and whatever? It's just SO unattractive! Call me a prude, but if I had to choose between being a prude and being a huge fake boobed cum bucket, I'll go with prude every single time.

At least my Skyrim character isn't dripping with anything. And I'm fairly sure if she tried, she could knock down a draugr with one breast.

Day 163 - So Cold!

Winter came to Bluebonnet!




I still have loads and loads of work to do on the land, but I just love the area I've set up by our skating pond. I'm going to head out to other winter sims this weekend and get ideas, too. I still want it to basically look like we had our parcel for autumn, but wintery and probably Christmas-like soon as well. I probably won't go crazy for holiday decorating until after Ulaa's wedding.

Oh, yes. My ex-wifey is getting married!! Very soon, in fact, so next week we'll probably just be going outright crazy trying to get everything accomplished. But I did get our entire wedding together in probably about a week last year, so it is absolutely possible. I'm just so happy and excited for her!!

Okay, back to decorating. And if you guys have ideas of beautiful, preferably mesh, winter decorations/landscaping stuff, I'd like to know about it!

Day 162 - The End of Autumn

I'm spending some time this evening enjoying our beautiful autumn parcel.




Tomorrow [or later tonight, if I'm up late] we're expecting a snowfall on the island. In fact, I think I even heard the rumblings of the Grand Bluebonnet Mountains earlier. You all know that they always rise from the sea right around the first snowfall.

We weren't expecting snow until next month, but it's quite okay that it comes early. See...someone's getting married next month in a winter wedding. :) Nope, it's not meee! I'll have much more to say about it as the time gets closer!

But for tonight, I'll just be enjoying the last of autumn.

Day 161 - What I'm Thankful For...

After last year's Thanksgiving meal, I realized what I'm thankful for.

Take out!




Okay, yes. There are definitely other things I'm thankful for. I have a wonderful offline life, an amazing SLife, friends and family who love me even when I probably don't deserve it, and I am blessed in so many ways. I am thankful for the amazing artists who share their wonderful creations with me and allow me to wear their art. I'm thankful for my readers, because without you guys, this blog would be nothing. Even when I'm being an ass, you guys keep reading, commenting, and finding me in world to talk to me, and I love it. :)

Have a wonderful and safe Thanksgiving! ♥

Day 160 - Vroom Vroom!

I was shopping at a store tonight and Aldwyn saw a car outside that he liked, so naturally that meant that we had to go to the store. And once we were there, naturally he had to buy a new car. It really does look great!




After hitting another couple of stores and stuff, we headed home and I told him to take me for a drive.

I don't know why I let him drive me anywhere, even in the prettiest of cars.

Day 159 - Need some chopsticks with that ramen hair.

Yesterday was a hard day for me, so when Aldwyn got on last night, he asked me if I wanted to get dressed up and go dancing. I said sure, because we haven't gotten to go out much recently, and then I spent the next 30 minutes finding the right outfit. We were going to see if people still go to Phat's, which used to be pretty popular back in the day.

He looked handsome in his mesh suit. I looked elegant in my new mesh dress. We hopped on over and then realized that my hunt for the perfect outfit was pretty meaningless because this was the dress code.





Okay, okay. I get it. Not everyone likes mesh gowns for dancing. There's still something kind of fun about watching your flexi gown twirl. I get that.

But going to Phat's was truly like walking back into at least 5 years ago. SO MUCH FLEXI. So many very very old dresses. So many shoes that were made of pure prims, no sculpts at all. There was bling! There were heart poofers! And the hairs! So many ramen noodle hairs!






I don't keep the crosshair things on in SL because they annoy me, and because I don't care who is looking at me, but Aldwyn said that when we walked in, a ton of people were checking me out. Maybe they wondered why my gown wasn't flying all over the place. Maybe they wanted to see why my hair looked nice. I really don't know.

Being in the group that we're in, we're very used to everyone looking beautiful pretty much 99% of the time. We are around wonderful creators and excellent stylists a lot. Our friends look amazing because they read/write fashion blogs and shop in nice places. It's really hard to look bad when you fill your inventory with gorgeous items, you know? So when we do step away from our group and go somewhere else, I'm always amazed at how many people in SL are still living with these very old items, and seem to LIKE it. Part of me has to wonder what exactly folks are fighting for here. I see creators fighting to learn Maya. I see people fighting for a mesh deformer. Why fight that hard when some of these folks are still wearing shoes that look like this?




[No, I have no idea why it was floating. Both of us saw it, so I know it wasn't just on my screen.]

We were laughing at some of the outfits, but I told Aldwyn that maybe these people are having more fun than the rest of us. They get dressed up in their big crazy formal gowns, put on their twirly flexi hair, and they go OUT. They dance and laugh and talk to people. Most of our group stay up on platforms and we just talk on plurk about how we'd like more friends but we're all shy.

So really? Who is truly living their Second Life? I'm starting to think it's not us.

Day 158 - It Was An Old School Night

For some reason, every time Aldwyn and I are bored, we end up looking for old places in SL that we used to go to. Granted, we are both pretty old in SL - AND SL ONLY - so it is just fun for us to see old places, I guess. Plus, we both still learn about each other all the time. Even after 1 year of marriage, 2 years of being together, and 3 years of friendship, we both still have things to learn about each other and how our SLives used to be before we got together. I think that's important. Too many couples try to shove their past in each others' faces immediately and then there's nothing left to learn. We both had very full SLives before each other, so there's still a lot to talk about! And it's really fun when we can both talk about our experiences in places that we both used to go to years and years ago.

For example... Pillow Talk!




Awww. This slide.

Pillow Talk used to be pretty much one of my FAVORITE sims ever. I used to go there very often to just wander around on the ground level, sit on stuff, and hang out in the houses. It's exactly the same as it was back in probably 2008. Wandering around now, you really feel like you've stepped back in time because as lovely as it still is, it is very old. I heard a few years ago that the owner of Pillow Talk died and that's why nothing new was being made anymore. That's sad if it's true, because she was very talented at making some of the best cuddle type poses in SL.

After we finished wandering around Pillow Talk, Aldwyn was trying to remember some castle in the clouds where there was dancing. I couldn't think of where he was talking about, but I did remember Avilion. We didn't go in the castle because it's formalwear only and we didn't feel like getting dressed, but we did hop on one of the poses out in front.

And then I ripped his heart out.




Old poses... they never fit.

Where are some of your favorite old school places to go in SL?

Day 157 - Time Changes

I've never been good with time changes, especially when we go back to "normal" time. I like daylight.




The rest of this post is about RL stuff, so skip it if you don't care. :)

So it's been kind of a busy couple of weeks, which is why I haven't posted in here. I'm not a mom in RL to a real kid, but I am the mom to a kitty cat. She's my little love! Unfortunately, being as connected as she and I are has its drawbacks. A couple of weeks ago my seasonal depression combined with some not great news sent me into a bit of a crying fit. Now most women will tell you that having a good cry is very necessary, so I really did need it, but my darling cat didn't get it.

She has this issue called feline hyperesthesia. Hers is mostly caused by stress, so we attempt to keep her life pretty stress free. When she goes into one of her "episodes," I can usually distract her by clapping my hands or picking her up. But being witness to my boo hoo session sent her into such a state, I spent the next week trying to settle her stomach.

In all of this, though, I learned more about her condition, which is luckily pretty mild, and learned that a low carb/high protein diet would really help alleviate her symptoms. And of course she's needed tons of snuggles and lots of play time.

That's what my life has been the past couple of weeks. It's all about my cat. But she seems to be settling into her new diet really well, and she hasn't been as upset, so I guess things are going to be okay.

Now I can turn some of my attention back to SL and maybe - MAYBE - my one year project won't actually take two years.

Day 156 - When You Hold Me Like You Do

My dear SL husband was out of town over the weekend. I always miss him when he's away! Luckily his trip was only a couple of days, and even though we'll go a couple of days without seeing each other on just a busy week, it feels different when either of us are totally away!

I'm not making much sense, am I? I REALLY should go to bed.

But anyway, he's home now, and I'm home now, and things are as they should be.

Day 155 - What makes it real?

Just prefacing this by saying this is an opinion post. My opinion. Might be yours, might not be. But either way, don't get all butthurt about it. Thanks. :)




So Gogo pointed us over to this post on NWN earlier today. Not for the article itself, but for the comments.

"I have such a hard time taking the whole fashion and models thing in SL seriously."

Well, who asked you to? No one.

"Why are there no blogs on SL vehicles or weapons?"

Because no one has bothered?

"Or rather aspiring for free promo clothes from the creators, isn't it?

Obviously you've never been a fashion blogger or you'd know that most of us spend a LOT of money putting looks together. Most of us are not blogging freebies.

"Most fashion blogs aren't even real blogs anyway: those bloggers don't express themselves, we never hear about their inspiration for this and that look. We never know anything about the blogger's personality (or probably the lack thereof). They just make a pretty photo and if we're lucky they tell us what they are wearing."

What makes a REAL blog?

Yes, writing can make a blog. It's like an online journal. Some people want to know you through your blog - what you do, what you think, etc. There are the fashion blogs where you see why someone chose what they did. But there are other blogs. There are photoblogs that show just a picture and credits. There are video blogs. There are microblogs [like Tumblr or even Flickr].

Now, personally? I do wish people would do more writing. I like knowing things about someone. I miss all the personal blogs where people talked about things. I know there aren't really that many left in the grand scheme of SL blogging, not like there was when I got this blog started. There are many more fashion blogs, and yes, I do wish people wrote more on their fashion blogs. But some don't and that's their business.

Having both a personal and a fashion blog gives me the opportunity to see both sides of the coin there, so to speak. Trust me, it would be EASIER if I'd just do a picture and some credits on my style blog, and I do it once in a while if I'm terribly short on time. But I'm not into fashion blogging for free stuff. MOST of us who have been doing this for years are not. Yes, you always get new bloggers who immediately want to be on all the lists and get all the things without doing any work. You'll know them right away. They're the ones who ask for "sponsors" [don't do that] and try to get invited to every single event immediately. They're the ones who fizzle out before most of them are even eligible to get on most of the fashion feeds.

Ask the long term fashion bloggers. We sign up for events only if there is an open call. Very few of us ever ask designers if we can get free stuff from them. Most of us are on the lists we're on based on our work or the friendships we have made - and we prefer it that way.

Personal SL blogging is so different to me. I can come in here and say whatever I feel like because I'm not on any feeds. I am more free. But there are days when I've done nothing in SL worth talking about. Days when all I want to do is a photo. And there are days, like today, where I have a lot to say. I get notecards or IMs sometimes from strangers who liked something I had to say, or didn't like it, or who just want to talk to someone. Let's face it, it's hard to make friends in SL these days, it seems like. With everyone either stuck on platforms or hating the club scene, it's not as easy to make friends as it once was. So they read my blog. They get to know a little bit about me. They feel like they CAN talk to me because, after all, I'm no different than anyone else. I'm sure other "personal" SL bloggers get the same treatment.

If there is a type of blog you'd like to see - WRITE IT YOURSELF. If there is not a blog for guns or cars or clubs or landscaping or people who love facelights, then you might have to write it yourself. Or you know what? If you're a creator of such things, read the feeds. There are several. You can even find a listing of them on this page.. Look at the pictures, read the blogs. Find who you think takes nice pictures or writes well and send them a notecard and a sample of your work. Ask them to visit your event or club. Just because someone never has blogged a certain thing doesn't mean that they never would. And if they don't? That happens, too, even to the biggest of designers.

I guess my point here is that just because a blog is bad, or uninteresting, or has no writing on it - it doesn't make it less real than any other kind of blog. It's just a different kind of blog, and there is always room for someone who wants to try their hand at it.

Except for the facelight blog. Don't do that.

Day 154 - Happy Housewarming!

So Ulaa's been living on Bluebonnet for like 2 years or something. Her parcel is where she makes all her Funky Junk goodness. But as any builder could tell you, sometimes your place is all filled up with your builds and you don't really LIVE there. You're just on a platform. Well, when a large parcel opened up on Bluebonnet recently, she jumped on it so that she could finally set up a home.

Me, being a great landlady and her best friend, I decided to make her a housewarming cake. I didn't have time to make one for her myself, so I ran out to buy her one.




What? It totally counts because I wrote on it myself AND topped it with something I made. I'm sure it's totally tasty!!

Day 153 - If You're Happy And You Know It...

I've been ridiculously into Skyrim for the past couple of weeks. I didn't think I'd ever be into this game this much. But well, I guess give me a few cheats and some funny mods, and I'll play anything.

But, I always make sure my playing time is done by 10 or so because that's when Aldwyn is able to be in SL and I have to be a good wife and not make him a Skyrim widow! Tonight we were sitting around and I told him I needed to go to SLink to try the new mesh hands. I didn't expect to feel like I really needed them because I actually kind of like my regular hands and I like my nails from Izzie's and I love my wedding ring. But well, these were so very cool, my very awesome husband bought them for me!




They're just so cool and come in all kinds of different poses and you can mix & match. ALSO, I can wear my wedding ring with them! But I don't think I'll use them for more than just pics probably since to wear my rings, I have to adjust them for each different hand position. But I do just love the hands! Now if Siddean would just make more nail tints for them.... :)

I'm all freaked out because of a big storm that's going on over my head right now so I think it's time to go bury myself under the blankets and pray that it passes soon.

Day 152 - I'm taller for once!

I was going to do this pic for the style blog, but once I got to overly photoshopping things, I figured it belonged in here. And I'm really tired, so that's that for today!

Day 151 - Every Day, Every Hour Has Come To This.

We're just hanging out on the couch tonight.




Did I ever mention that our 1 year wedding anniversary was last month? The both of us forgot! I know, shameful. We'd remembered a few weeks before, but on the actual day, I had appointments and he had work and it was one of those things where because we hadn't planned anything, the day just kind of slipped by.

A whole year of partnership! Ulaa and I were partnered for over a year [15 months, 1 week and 1 day, actually] so Aldwyn and I have until December 27th to beat that record. I'm PRETTY sure it'll happen. Pretty sure. :-p We've already been together over two years. That's like 10 years SL time, right?

This past year has been probably the happiest of my SLife. It's not just him, but the SLife we've built together, the friends we have, etc. Every day, it gets a little better. I can hardly wait to see what the next year brings us!

Honestly, I couldn't have asked for a better SL husband. He's never given me a reason to be mad at him, or not trust him, or anything like that! Two years into this whole thing and we've never even had a fight! It's not that we agree on everything because that would be impossible for any couple, but it's just that we communicate well and we know what the other can and cannot give. It took us both many years and many other SL relationships in both our SLives to find this out.

And I think that's the advice I'd give anyone starting out into a new SL relationship. Learn right away what their limits are, and know what your own are. Become friends first. Go slow. Don't force things. Take things as they come. Roll with the punches. There are days where you won't get to talk much and days where you can spend many hours together. Enjoy each moment.

[Oh. Also, talk on voice and webcam verify. Trust me on this.]

Anyway, that's my anniversary post. :) If he doesn't dump me for being totally crazy before December 27th, I'll do the "Omg, my longest SL partnership ever!" post.

Day 150 - October Lights

I was just setting up outside to take a picture tomorrow. I just liked this angle. :) I'm going to bed now, but I wanted to show the pic.

Day 149 - In this one horse town, I wanna stay right here.

I haven't been in SL too much in the past week. Last weekend it was rainy here, and I was a little bored, and so I decided to play Skyrim again for the first time since probably January. I didn't expect to get all into it! I thought it would just be something I puttered around in for an hour or so before I went on to something else, just like last time. But nope! All kinds of into it.

But I missed my SL. I missed just wandering around our parcel. I mean, you don't put work into building a home and not spend any time in it, right?




I want to be more social in SL again. We had this discussion on plurk the other day about how most of us are suffering from the same kind of mental problems. Like, I've been diagnosed with depression and generalized anxiety disorder. Combine that with the fact that I'm almost painfully shy, and being social, even in SL, is not always easy. Especially this time of year when my seasonal depression hits. But I figure if others have the same things I do, then why shouldn't I put myself out there more again? Maybe they're just as scared of IMing people to chat as I am. Maybe it would brighten someone's day to just know that someone else was thinking of them. Who knows?

Anyway, that's all from this side today. I am heading back to Skyrim to find a staff or something crazy.

Day 148 - I'm just listening to the clock go ticking.

I've been in a mood in SL the past few days. It's not a bad thing really. Usually these moods mean I'm going to change something to make myself happier.

Day 147 - It must have been good, but I lost it somehow.

I don't follow a lot of blogs. I mean, I DO follow them, but I don't sign up Google Reader follow them, you know? I just use my blogrolls or bookmarks or look at new posts on feeds and plurk. But there are a few that I have put in my Google reader. Did you know that even if they delete the blog, they remain in your reader? I was bored and glancing through tonight and came across Cen's old blog. And I sat there and I read every post.




I don't really talk about her much anymore. She left SL in early 2009 and well, 3 years is a long time to be holding on to something, right? But there are times when I really miss her still. Reading her blog, I can see how hard things were becoming for her towards the end, but I guess I'd always thought if she left being Cen, she'd become someone else. After all, she had done it before. That was part of our original bond - we were both "replacements." Of course, for all I know, she did start over and if so, I know she's out there having fun and laughing and enjoying SLife as she did before.

But I miss her. I miss our crazy adventures. I miss our long chats about our lives, both first and second. She was one of the better listeners I've encountered in SL, which meant a lot to me because I'm usually the listener. When we'd chat, I knew I had pretty much her full attention, as she had mine. I miss how we could sit quietly with each other for hours, barely talking, but there was nothing uncomfortable about it.

I know that things change. I know that there's the chance that our friendship wouldn't have lasted. We might have eventually had a falling out, or just drifted apart and became people who were just on each others' friends lists and spoke once in a great while. Or maybe we'd still be close, running around and laughing, exploring the grid with our men or our friends.

Cen, I have no idea if you still read my blog. If you do, just know that I miss you. And if you ever feel like talking... well. You know where to find me. ♥

Day 146 - The Place

So the other day, I was mentioning to Aldwyn [well, complaining mostly] that we don't really have a hangout these days. Yeah, we have our home, but no one really comes over and sometimes you just want a place where you can go to where you don't have to look your best, and you can just sit and talk, or not talk, or do whatever. Like years ago when CeNedra and I pretty much made Sam's Viper Pit our own. We had our own places, we just always ended up THERE to meet with friends, sort our inventory, and see where the night took us. It wasn't a club, and we didn't have events really [except that was the birthplace of the Hump Day parties I used to throw weekly], but people knew if they wanted to chill out, they could go there and do so.

Aldwyn, being smart and also willing to experiment with stuff, suggested we find a little parcel where we could put a place down and see if anyone would like to just come and hang out. So last night, The Place was born.

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The Place isn't fancy. It's not meant to be. We welcome everyone to come and just hang out. Build is on [20 minute auto-return], so if you need to drop boxes to sort your inventory, you can! Feel like sitting around quietly while you work on a script? Be our guest! Want to play a game a Greedy? The table is ready for you. Need a neutral place to bring a potential booty call without showing them your house? Hey, bring it on!

This is just an experiment for us, so if nothing comes of it, that's okay. But we hope that people will have fun coming by The Place and hanging out. :)

OH! The Place is on an adult sim, so you'll need to be adult verified to come, but it's not an adult type place, and we're up in the air, so seeing random peens probably won't happen. Just figured I would mention that!

Day 145 - Brown Eyed Girl

I wore some brown eyes for my style post earlier, and I think they're pretty, although I don't think I'll be changing forever. I think I might need to get some dark blue eyes, though.




Yeah, I know, it's been a week since I last updated. I wish I could say it's because I've been having soooo many adventures in SL, I haven't had time, but that's not the case at all.

I think it's probably time of a little revamp of my SLife. I just feel like I should be doing more and I don't know exactly what more is at this point. I can't say that I'm getting bored or burnt out because that's certainly NOT the case, but I do feel like maybe I should hang out with people more or something. I'm invited places once in a while, but I don't often go. I think I need to change that. Maybe.

Day 144 - Why didn't anyone stop me?

Many many years ago, I was in a job that paid well, but I was desperately miserable at. It wasn't terribly hard, and I was extremely good at what I was doing, but I was just unhappy as could be. To make up for my growing unhappiness, I developed a big shopping problem. Designer handbags, makeup by the box load, every book that caught my eye, shirts and jeans and funny colorful socks, and most every scent of candle at Yankee Candle - they all found their way into my hands and into my home. And while that sounds okay, it wasn't. I would walk into stores, feel euphoric that I was shopping, and then everything would blank out around me. Sometimes I would find myself back at home surrounded by bags of junk and not even remember how I got back to the apartment.

I had a problem. A big one. While the shopping made me happy for a few minutes, it didn't make me happy forever, and I was wasting money that I should have been saving. Eventually I left that job and being a lot happier, I stopped shopping so much. In fact, it's pretty rare now that I buy anything for myself except maybe nail polish or lip gloss once in a while. Or funny colorful socks, which I still have a love for. But last night and today in Second Life, I found myself back in that blacked out, euphoric, how the hell did I get home? kind of place again.




I've been kind of down in the dumps the past 2-3 days. Part of it is the weather. I don't do well in rainy, gray, yucky kind of weather. The other part is just me being sad. So going to The Arcade was a mistake. There are many cute things, but I didn't need most of them. I just needed to shop. It made me happy for a little bit. But now here I am, still down, holding these items that will probably never see the light of day again, and kicking myself for spending so much.

Blah. I'll get over it. I just needed to vent a little. We can't be up all the time.

At least I got the platinum hamster I wanted. So there's that.

Day 143 - Hi Cows!

There was a time, a long long time ago, that I used to adore wearing costumes in SL. Oh, I had TONS. But these days, I prefer to just dress up for blog posts, and wear jeans or shorts any other time. But once in a while, I put on a costume, like the little hamster avatars from The Arcade. Tooooo cute!




If anyone gets an extra Platinum or Fairy Popsicle colored hamster, I will buy it off of you!

There are still so many things I want from The Arcade but it was like "buy...crash...buy...crash" all night for me, and I even ended up losing stuff. :( I guess I will just wait and go later this week. It's hard to not want to get in there immediately since everyone is trading and giving away items already, but it's just not happening for me right now!

Day 142 - I'm not as mad as I look

I was editing this pic and thinking of what to write about, and I realized my face looks all mad. :-p I'm a little whiny and lonely tonight, but not mad!!




Well, this would be a really great time to talk about how I edit my face for photos to give it more expression sometimes than the flat mad face, but the Oleanders have yelled at me to come watch a movie, so I'm off!

Day 141 - The Great Outdoors

Our home has been really bland regarding landscaping over the past few months. Oh, I tried but summer is not my favorite time to do many things. Autumn, however... I just love decorating for it!! I've been getting dirt under my nails and putting people to work to get our home ready for the upcoming season.




This is the side opposite the small creek that runs by our house. Ulaa "Falled" up our wedding gazebo and twisted some autumn vines all over. The playground we'd had up at the camp site is back, and tucked into a corner is our new outdoor movie theater. I think it looks amazing!!

I think next we'll just work a little more on our "backyard" and then it'll be done!

Day 140 - The Story Never Ends

I had a really nice out of the blue IM yesterday from someone who wanted to tell me that she likes my blog, and likes the story ones. I like writing more of the "Roleplay" aspect of my SLife, but I don't do it a whole lot for a couple of reasons. One, I'm alone a great deal in SL and while I can write fun stories about random crap I do, I doubt anyone wants to read "I stood in our living room for 2 hours staring at myself." The best stories involve others and other places. And that leads me to two - I'm really SLazy. :-p I don't leave Bluebonnet a whole lot unless it's just to run into a store, grab something, and go. And setting up stories? Kind of tough sometimes!! Especially if I'm in a creative funk.

But, after talking a bit about this on plurk, I was surprised to see that others like stories, too. I think so many in my circle get just in this mindset that people just want to see our outfits, not read about our SLives or anything like that, and it's not the case!! Maybe it was for a while, but it seems like that's not true anymore.

So expect more stories in the future here. The story really never ends. :)

Day 139 - Good morning!

Awww. We've officially become THAT couple, the one that leaves SL on all night while we sleep.




Actually, I haven't been sleeping very well the past few nights, and last night I was so relaxed while we were on Skype, I got up from my computer and went and laid down on the couch. [Which is on the other side of my desk, so I could keep my headset on.] If you've ever been around Aldwyn, you know he has a really calming presence, which is great for someone like me because I'm so high strung. I was half asleep and told him I didn't want to get up to log out of SL, and he suggested we just stay. So we did. :)

Of course, now I'm up and he's gone to work and left me with his avatar.

...

...

...

/me sits on her hands to try and not be a jerk today.

Day 138 - A Little Change

I've never been one to change skins too often. When I find a skin I really like, I tend to keep it and just keep tweaking my face because I always feel like I can make it BETTER. My beloved Briar skin is being retired, though, and I realized I was going to have to find a new "everyday" skin soon. I've been waaaaaitingggg for the Pink Fuel Kumi skin to be released and finally tonight it was!

I think it's me. :)




I didn't do too much Photoshop to that pic, just adjusted the light a bit.

Now the hard part - RE-TINTING ALL MY FEET. *cries*

Day 137 - More Movies

I set up our own little movie area on Bluebonnet tonight. The Cheeky Pea & Pilot collab for Collabor88 was just screaming at me to be set up. Plus I got to finish watching Footloose, which I rented a few days ago to watch on our tv in our house.




I hadn't planned on ever watching the remake of Footloose. I am a HUUUUUGE fan of the original. But I will say, as far as remakes go, this was pretty decent. They stuck fairly close to the original, even down to things that were said and songs that were used. I wouldn't buy the movie for keeps, but this is a 7 day clearance rental from Lightening Video, so it only cost me $199L. 80 cents worth of entertainment? Sure!

So last night was a little sad for me because two of my friends decided to move off the island. I have been expecting it because now that they're together in RL, that is obviously their focus, as it should be. But I honestly adore my renters, and losing any of them is hard for me! But, Ulaa decided she wanted the spot since her first parcel is usually completely full with all her builds. So now she can build on one parcel and live on the other. And it saves me from having to find someone else, although within 10 minutes of posting on plurk that I had a spot, I had people asking about it. That's always a good feeling!

Mmm...I guess it's time for more terraforming since my slavedriver of a husband keeps asking me about it. :-p

Day 136 - This Movie Made Me Want Watermelon

Movie night with the Oleanders tonight! Brownie points if you can guess the movie. :)




I couldn't wait any longer, so our autumn grass came a day early to Bluebonnet. As much as I think beaches are nice, I just wasn't feeling the whole summer beachy vibe this year. Even doing a "Martha's Vineyard" style beach this year wasn't what I wanted really. I'm so much happier with the grass, especially the darker grasses we use for the autumn. Once our new house is prepared, I can really get to work on the parcel and see how well my ideas work with my skill level.

Maybe one of you will know the answer to this, as I'm still pretty uneducated about the whole pathfinding thingy in Second Life. I've chosen to turn it off for now on the island, simply because I don't really know WHAT it does and because I don't really think that we need it. But whenever I terraform, it starts to tell me that I need to rebake the region. What exactly is rebaking doing? And why do I need to do it when I terraform? It's not the same thing as saving the terrain file, I know that much. I wish someone would just put out a very easy to understand page on the whole pathfinding thing.

Bedtime!

Day 135 - And then the house caught on fire.

So I started tonight getting the parcel semi-prepared for the upcoming destruction and rebuilding. But then the house caught on fire.




I swear, if it's not one thing, it's another. :-p

On the bright side, Ulaa is restructuring a house for us. So there's that.

A Book Review

Yesterday I read the novel The Second Life of Isadora Tooley after seeing it on New World Notes. Review it? Why, don't mind if I do.







This book is called a "romantic thriller." Meh. I guess? There is some sex in it, there is violence, there is a creepy man who wants both sex AND violence. So if that's what makes it a romantic thriller, then okay. And yes, Second Life is featured greatly in the story.

[This is going to get long, I think, because I write too much, so there's more after the break!]

Day 134 - Johnny Fever Said Booger

Another Wednesday dance party with DJ Lolita tonight! It's always fun! I especially like when Aldwyn is able to log in before it's over so we can hang out together with everyone.




We only have a couple more days of our "kinda summery beachy" terrain on Bluebonnet. I have big plans for our parcel but honestly, I don't know if I can pull off the look I want without it going all to hell! I'm not exactly the best landscaper or anything. In my head, I know what I want but having the SKILLS to do it? That's SUCH a different thing! :-p I guess we'll see. If it looks like a huge hot mess, I'll just throw trees everywhere and call it a day.

Yep, that's how I landscape. TREES EVERYWHERE. :)

Day 133 - Hello There!

Yay! After what seems like a very long weekend away, Aldwyn has come home to me! I don't know why this weekend was more tough for me to have him be away. It's not like we haven't been away from each other before. I guess sometimes you're just a lot more needy than other times.




Besides... without him here, I had no one to sit on! I actually had to sit on chairs. My preferred spot to sit is on him. Always!