Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Alllll byyyy mysellllfff....

I spend a lot of time in SL alone.


This isn't one of those "Aw, poor lil blogger girl" posts. I fully admit that my being alone is usually by choice these days.

I used to never be alone. Last year, there was always a boyfriend, or working at a club, or spending hours and hours at the Viper Pit with friends and anyone else who wandered by. Being alone was something I had to work for most of the time.

And then last September happened. I won't go back into it because ... hey, no need. By choice, I decided to start spending a lot of time alone. I kind of needed to, you know? I needed time to think and to deal with a lot of things in my own head that therapy hadn't quite covered.

But now? I feel like maybe I shouldn't be alone all the time, and yet I'm having trouble breaking away from it. Could it be that I honestly have forgotten what it's like to just hang out with people? Because truth be told, I'm a little uncomfortable doing it now unless I'm very close to the person. And that's probably not good.

So the question is, how do I break myself of this? A lot of my friends are busy usually in SL, or they have dates or partners. I'd feel weird saying "Hey, someone come sit on the wall with me," because that's what I do most of the time these days. I really don't like clubs, so going to one for company would be weird to me. It's just... well, it's a pickle. LOL Even if someone did come to chill with me, I might not even know what to say anyway.

But I am going to try to break myself out of it. SL is a social thing, or it should be, and being alone 95% of the time is not how it should be spent. I guess we'll see what happens. :)

Ali's Thanks of the Day: I'm thankful for my friends who deal with my craziness as if it's not all that unusual. LOL


Wrath said...

Okay, I'll be waiting to find out how you manage to break the routine! Then I might have to see if it will work for me. ;-)

Alicia Chenaux said...

WRATH PAINE. I know how you can break it.


That's my suggestion, anyway. LOL

Xtina said...

hey there, been reading your blog for the past couple weeks and have been enjoying it. i feel like i can relate to this situation. it's interesting that i also find myself alone in sl. i think this has to do with my introvert personality and i act the same way in rl as in sl. maybe you are too? leaning towards more introvert. there isn't anything wrong with it unless you really like to be social. introverted people gain energy from being alone or 1-on-1 with another person, while extroverted individuals gain energy from being around lots of people. i realized over the years that i was more introverted and i have learned to accept and embrace that. it has helped me understand myself better and i am less stressed about it too. we all need balance in life and sometimes we got to push ourselves to be more social and that's okay too. as long as you know your limits. :-) hoped that helped a bit.

Joonie said...

Ali, let me know what you come up with. I could have written this post!

Emerald Wynn said...

I never hang out with people anymore. I kind of just wander around and do my own thing. People have defriended me because of it. I'm laaaaaaaaame.

I have found that I tend to develop the same level of social anxiety about SL parties and events that I would about real life ones. You would think it would be the opposite -- that I'd be able to cut loose behind the mask of an AV. A shrink would have a field day with my antisocial SL behavior.

I've spent long hours thinking about it, actually. Well, not hours. But definitely long minutes.

And yeah, Wrath. Freaking sign in more often.

Wrath said...

OMG I freaking signed in yesterday! Sheesh. Don't tell me those two minutes went unnoticed by all!

Alicia Chenaux said...

Wrath - Well you need to freaking sign in and not freaking sign out faster than I can find you on my friends list and IM you!!!!


I do admit to being introverted. It's definitely not a new thing in my life. I've always recharged much better when I can be alone, even if it's only for a couple of hours. I just kind of wish I weren't SO introverted in SL. :)