Saturday, January 23, 2010

Day 78 - It's not cracka-lackin'

I get gifts from my friends from time to time. Usually I'm pretty happy with them because my friends have good taste & know my style, or they're funny gifts that make me laugh.

Guess which category these pants fall into?


This ass crack sponsored by Emerald Wynn.

Seriously, what is the point? We were discussing these pants on plurk and someone mentioned that for a photoshoot, they could be useful. Well sure, I could see making my butt and hips really wide and pretending like I couldn't pull my pants up. That would be really funny, actually!

The problem is, most people buying these pants [that aren't doing it for comedic purpose] are not going to do it for funny photoshoots. They're going to slap on some boob baring crop top or a pair of pasties and a load of tattoos and prance around using that AO that bends a bitch over for inspection and thinking they are "so smexy."

I fucking hate the word "smexy."

Look, there's a time and a place for everything. Really, there is. Wear your spiky, blinding, look-like-a-2006-noob bling to make people laugh. Put glow on your hair and run around laughing like crazy. Wear your pasties and dance in the privacy of your home with your significant other. But for Phil's sake, if you're out in public and I can see your hole and you're about 2 seconds away from your cooter actually being on display...

Uh, no.

Do yourself and everyone else a favor and buy some decent pants.\

Well, unless you want to come to our Ass-cracka-palooza party. Then it's all crack, all the time.


Anonymous said...

I so agree on the "smexy" hate. While I definitely sympathise with the thought that led to its creation (i.e., that you can be both intelligent and sexy), the word in itself is just so awfully, teeth-grindingly stupid that it directly subverts what it's supposed to stand for.

Emerald Wynn said...

ROFL! (Sorry I'm behind in blog reading.)