Saturday, June 19, 2010

Day 219 - Introversion

A couple of things first...

If you were in the BBBC, or if you just followed along, head over to New World Notes and post any of your favorite blog posts from the challenge. :)

Oh, and before I forget! Is there anyone out there that is good at reading blueprints and building? A friend of mine wants his RL house recreated in SL. He wants to be able to mod it and change paint colors and such so he gets an idea of how to redecorate his own home. IM me in world if you're interested in this project.


So can I talk for a bit? This is probably going to be rambly, but that's my brain tonight.

Recently I've come across the word "ambivert," meaning someone who enjoys being social but also loves time to themselves. I suppose I might fall closer to that category, but I lean towards the more introverted side. I'm an introvert by nature. It's not something I really knew much about, or accepted about myself, until a couple of years ago. I'd been told my whole life that it wasn't the right way to be. Like most Latinas, I come from a loud family. Family reunions always made me want earplugs because if you didn't talk loud enough, you weren't heard. There's a part of the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding that always has me in stitches because if you change the "Greek" to "Mexican," you have my family.

And my whole family is big and loud. And everybody is in each other's lives and business. All the time! Like, you never just have a minute alone, just to think, 'cause we're always together, just eating, eating, eating! The only other people we know are Greeks, 'cause Greeks marry Greeks to breed more Greeks, to be loud breeding Greek eaters!

As I've gotten older, I've recognized that my dad is an introvert. Daddy is perfectly content to sit by himself for hours, watching tv and drinking Cokes, and not saying a word. My Aunt Hope, the youngest of my mother's sisters, is also an introvert - which has been the tragedy of the family for as long as I can remember. The other 5 sisters are loud, and bossy, and have to be talking all the time. They draw strength from being around each other, or at least talking on the phone several times a week. They do not understand introverts.

Introverts are not energized by other people. In fact, others usually drain us. Not that we hate people or are antisocial. Not at all. But we need time to ourselves to recharge. Lately, I can feel myself grasping for even just a few moments to myself. You know how sometimes your cell phone battery drains, but you're busy and you still need it, so you just recharge it a little bit and head out the door? Then as the day or week goes on, you keep snatching bits of recharging time here and there, but as time goes on, the battery drains more and more quickly in between recharges? I feel like that battery right now.

I know when things are getting bad. I'm tired all of the time. I don't want anyone to touch me. I'm shopping in the real world way, way too much. I spend most of my day asking people, "What do you need? What do you want? What can I do?"

So bringing this back to SL, it probably makes people wonder what introverts are doing in such a social platform. But that's just it. I can be here, in SL, in my home, and be alone. I can deal with people in IM as they come, but I don't have to really see anyone for days if I don't feel like it. Do you guys have any idea how completely freeing that is for me? To know that it's okay if I'm alone here. I can sit alone, thinking to myself, and it's okay. Most of the time, because I know it's okay, that makes me able to handle people better. It makes me like being around people more. And I am grateful that my close friends know that even if I am quiet, I am still there for them.



Terri Zhangsun said...

I completely understand because I am totally an intovert! If I don't get time to myself to recharge, I am miserable! I didn't even know what it was until I was in my 20's. I used to feel lousy about myself and how I was because the people who usually really shine are the school and work, etc.

Now, I feel much more comfortable with who I am and love being an introvert!

Tashi Core said...

This post is so close to my heart. :)

Arianna Earst said...

I also possess a very introverted personality. I think many introverted people go through a similar process in their life. Learning that who they are is okay. Being one of the few introverts in a very rambunctious family, I always felt like something was wrong with me and people would tell me this too. I didn't realize until a couple years ago that I am also a special kind of girl in a good way. Now I try to embrace my personality characteristics and use them in a positive way to help others and myself.

SL is no different and I tend to spend a lot of time alone or with a few very close friends. I have a job in SL that requires that I interact with many people at a time. I enjoy it but when it's over, I can't wait to go shopping or try out my never ending closet at my sl home, alone.

I tend to a have a lot of people who stick around for a little and will constantly message me. I feel kind of bad pushing them away when I just don't feel like chatting. I have found that the true friends will always be there when you need them most in SL even when your not the most talkative person.

Thanks for letting us hear your thoughts :-)