Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Day 287 - Welcome to SL! Unless you're a Hell's Angel, I guess.

I didn't have a chance to put up a post last night because I was too busy having fun and then my internet died. And that's sad because I had a really epic post planned with lots of quotes. But, I've slept since then. :-p So all I can say is... Gurrrlllll....


Ruby, Ulaa and I were chilling at some welcome areas last night in an attempt to make some new friends or at least find some people to chat with for a bit. Well, I don't know about you guys, but I am definitely glad I'm not new to SL because if THESE are the places the new people are supposed to feel "welcomed" at, all the new viewers and screen name changes and not having to pick a scary last name and other shiny things in the world are NOT going to keep people in SL.

The people who seem to frequent these sims are well over a year old, and completely full of themselves. I wouldn't be surprised if they go there just to hear themselves talking on voice. We heard a 20 minute spiel on why Amy Winehouse was no longer fuckable. We heart a 60+ year old woman named "Wild" talk about the "blacks & Jews." We heard some loser in a Phantom of the Opera costume go on and on and on about how there are "tribes" in SL and drama in those tribes. Baby, you want drama? Get into the fashion world. We heard some woman very obviously faking a little girl baby voice. And we heard about Hell's Angels and how they may or may not kick someone's ass for wearing their logo in SL. Um. Yeah.

If I had joined SL and ended up in one of these places, I think I would have logged off and probably not come back.

It was, though, an extremely fun and funny night!

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Day 286 - Different is just a teleport away

I don't set out to go exploring a lot, but sometimes, I just stumble into it.

I was on the hunt for charm bracelets and somehow ended up in the New Toulouse Bayou. Quite an interesting place, and kind of spooky in a way. There was a stump you could climb down. It doesn't really take you anywhere, except under the tree, but it was kind of cool.


And in a total flip, right after I left New Toulouse Bayou, I ended up at Photon Pink's place. Seriously looks like a box of crayons exploded ALL over the sim. It's bright and cheerful and oh-so-colorful! I have just been to the castle before, but I decided to walk around the sim and a big octopus appeared!

OMG Octopus!

Two very very different places...and still no decent charm bracelet. Hmmph.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Day 285 - Days Like This

Today has been one of those SL days that makes me remember WHY I stick around this crazy place. After all, where else could you ....

Sit on a big ass multicolored dinosaur and talk shit with your best friend?


Go to a styling competition and realize you can't compete against a girl in a big ass birthday cake dress and a girl with a tree growing out of her head?

I will NEVER win.

Stand next to a girl who is over 7 feet tall?

Ooh gurl.

Die laughing because your friends are just as short as you are and we look like midgets next to the big ass glamazons?

RoobyStarleet Writerzzzzz

Go to your friends' place and see a couple of hot guys making out?

Hanging with Gabe & Garrett

Run to Ol' McMoonites Farm Of Beef & Beer and sit on a cow?

We're on a cow!

Giggle like a fool because your partner squashed the veal with her new big butt?

Veal, baby.

And go cow tipping?

Cow down! Cow down!

This. No matter what else happens in Second Life, days like this remind me of how much I love our wonderful, beautiful, incredible world. ♥

Day 284 - At least I have pretty pictures.


I've been in a more pensive mood lately. I like that word. Pensive. It sounds way better than just saying, "My damn brain won't shut off for 20 seconds so I can get some fucking rest."

I gave WTFug back to Meara. It was a little sad for me, but at the same time, it had been weighing on me that I was still with the blog and not doing anything. So I guess when people see me out, they won't yell "Don't fug me!"

Unless they're on my plurk.

Hm... I guess I should get in bed. I'm still not sure if my Saturday is free or not. I guess I'll find out in a few hours. :)

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Day 283 - My new business!

I'm starting a new business!


Do you need someone to watch your kid while you go to the latest fashion show/party/strip club? Call me! I will take great care of your baby in your home or mine. Only $100L per hour. Discounts available for multiple kids! I will make sure your child is totally safe and believe me, they will be very happy when you come home! Or passed out asleep!!


I'm sure I will be very busy taking care of babies, so be sure to book me in advance!

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Day 282 - Mess

What? Don't you ever just dance in your mess?


Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Day 281 - Zzzzz

I wasn't in SL much today again. I spent quite a bit of time in bed today, just watching tv. And now that it's 2am, it's back to bed with me.


Day 280 - Taking the Throne

I was off doing a hunt tonight [yes, despite my dislike for them.] and ended up in this store. I cannot for the life of me remember what store this is, but it had these big chairs. Unfortunately, this pic came out a bit crazy, as glow doesn't always work when I take pics. If anyone has a fix for that... well, let me know.


Sorry my posts are so incredibly dull lately. I've been terribly antisocial and haven't done much. Hopefully that'll change at some point. <3

Monday, August 23, 2010

Day 279 - The Makeover Viewer?

It's been a really great weekend - which actually started for me on Thursday. lol 4 days of good food, lots of drinks, and lots of laughs. It was one of those weekends that I was bummed because I was missing some things in SL, like some good sales and the Shoe Fair ending event. But, sometimes you just have to make choices and the choices were easy ones to make this time. :)

School starts tomorrow here. Not that it means a lot to me personally, but since all my local friends have kids, it kind of signifies the "end" of summer. I can't say that I did everything I planned on doing this summer, but I gotta say...it was pretty damn cool. :)

I wasn't in SL all that much today, but I did want to give the Imprudence viewer a whirl. I used to be a diehard Emerald Viewer fan, but around June, it simply ceased to function properly for me. Doing a clean reinstall would work for one log in, but only if I was lucky. Rainbow, Kirsten's, Snowglobe...for some reason, it was all the same. And I have a pretty decent machine, so I don't know what the deal is. I moved to Viewer 2, and I've been with the 2.1 beta for a while now. With the whole "EmeraldGate" thing going on, of course all my friends who refuse to use Viewer 2 have been trying to figure out what to use, and Imprudence was touted as one of the best to use. I'm not really interested in making a switch, but I do like to try things out, so I did.

It's good. Everything loaded up fairly quickly and I didn't appear to be terribly lagged out, which is good. But much like Snowglobe did for me, not all my textures would rez properly. In fact, as I was standing there, parts of my hair... well, look.


Just ... poof. Black. A friend of mine said maybe the client was giving me a makeover. LOL! And the other 2 big pieces never would rez. Plus, antialiasing didn't work very well, and although it supports tattoos and alphas, it does not support multiple layers like the 2.1 beta does. And I am spoiled now. I like to wear tattoo makeup layers and not just one at a time. But even if it did, the antialiasing not working very well [much like it didn't work well for me in Emerald either] is an enormous turnoff.

But, I will say, if you don't care about multiple layering or antialiasing, Imprudence is a pretty decent little client, and I will probably use it here and there.


Saturday, August 21, 2010

Day 278 - Make It Work

I'm a pretty huge Project Runway fan. Heck, I'm such a big fan, I even watched that horrible Models of the Runway show they tried to shove at us last year. [I totally hated Cerri and laughed at Kristina "winning" when she just happened to be Seth Aaron's model.] I think the designers are usually pretty decent, and I admire their talents. And I admire the fact that they're willing to stand there week after week with the possibility of getting their designs totally ripped apart verbally by the judges. I mean, seriously? Could you imagine telling an SL designer "I'm underwhelmed" and them just nodding and thanking you for saying it? Oh hell no. It would be epic drama and all their friends and groupies and ass kissers would jump in and tell you why you suck.

Anyway, this week's episode was centered around Philip Treacy hats. And the more I watched hat after hat come down the runway, the more I laughed, because I realized I really don't care for so-called "couture" wear. I don't like it in SL, where very little is actually couture and what is couture is usually freakin' ugly and unwearable. And it is most definitely not my style in RL because, again - unwearable. I don't know how exactly Philip Treacy got started in hats, but honey, I could stick a flower pot on my head, too.


The designers, of course, were having orgasms over the hats like they just saw a double rainbow, except the poor girl who ended up with the hat that looked like an enormous orchid sprouted out of the top of the model's head. Heidi Klum sat through the judging with some rose thing on her head that looked like it belonged as a centerpiece on her dinner table.

I may not be super fashionable, but at least I don't go shopping for my hats in the floral section of Pier 1.

Oh, and because it never can be said enough - Shut up, Gretchen.

In other news...I'm kind of bummed that I'm going to miss all the fun Shoe Fair ending activities tomorrow. I'm visiting with the parents and then heading over to the bestie's place. If you have a chance, you should go out there. You might even get a kiss - for a price. ;) It should be really fun. I know there's lots of great sales going on right now, but these shoe designers worked really hard to get out there and a lot of them are giving up a great deal of profit for charity, so it's great if we can support them. The fair officially ends on Sunday.


Thursday, August 19, 2010

Day 277 - Sober...for now.

I'm doing my post early today because in a couple of hours, I'll be having a birthday celebration with my friends and it will be filled with delicious food, scintillating conversation, and elegance.

Okay, so really? We're going to eat steak, go bowling, and I'm going to be stumbling in here late tonight happily smashed. If I have your number...expect drunk texts.


Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Day 276

Not much to say today.


Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Day 275 - Antisocial

I've been in one of those semi-anti-social moods today. Not quite sure why. I don't really feel like talking to anyone. I think there's been just too much of other peoples' stuff in my life lately, and with all the changes I'm trying to do in my physical world, it's just been a little bit overwhelming. Naturally I'll always listen to my friends, but you know how it is. Sometimes you just don't have anything to say and so in a way, you feel like they're talking to a brick wall, and that's really not what they need. Then it's just awkward and I feel like a loser. :-p

Maybe I'm just tired. That's really probably more it.

I really need to get back to my style blog. I kind of stopped over there while I focused on shoe fair blog posts, but I seem to have lost my mojo over there too, which sucks a LOT and I need to get back to it. I guess I could use my shoe blog pics on my style blog, but that really feels like I'm copping out and I don't want to do that. I need to do some pics for the fair blog tomorrow, because I won't have much time Thursday, Friday I expect I'll be pretty hungover, Saturday I won't be home until the evening, and Sunday the fair ends. So...tomorrow.

I was playing with stuff in PS again, and I kinda like how this came out. I'm pretty sure I've used this pose while sitting on a bed in another picture, but it's a different bed, so ... there.


Display Names? Are you KIDDING?

Dear Linden Lab,


I mean...REALLY?

Okay, you know me. I've been one of your biggest fans for many years. I've sat and watched as you guys have gotten bigger and bigger, and even if there have been things I haven't necessarily agreed with, I've rolled with the punches.

But you and I are going to have some words now. You're going to sit there while I tell you exactly what I think about your new display name thing.

Do you really mean to tell me that people HONESTLY freaked the hell out when it came to picking a last name when they joined SL? That because of these obviously idiotic people, now you want to do away with the 2 name system, something that's worked for years, and change it? That now I'm going to be "alicia.chenaux" and I can have a display name - a name that I can change at any time? A display name that anyone else can choose as well?

Oh nuh uh. No. No WAY.

I am Alicia Chenaux. I am not Alicia Dot Chenaux. DOT is not my middle name. My SL name is not an email. It's not just the way I happen to log in. It is MINE. I have been Alicia Chenaux for almost 3 years and it is ME. I have had other names in the past, and not one of them has ever truly been me. How would you like for someone to walk up to you at work and say, "Oh, by the way. We're just going to call you Jane Bigbutt now because your real name doesn't mean much to us." Same thing. By doing this, you're telling us that our SL names mean jack to you.

And probably the most disappointing thing I saw on the Wiki:

Can I prevent other Residents from using my Display Name?

Not generally. Display Names are not meant to be unique identifiers. Instead, if you notice that others are using a similar Display Name, feel free to change your own name.

So when this comes up, and someone [like me] chooses to use our names as our display name, and someone else decides to be an ass and use our name too - do you honestly mean to tell me that I'm free to change MY name? Instead of them? I have to change MINE? RIDICULOUS.

I'm begging you - PLEASE think this through. Please don't let our world become just another web thing. Don't let us be IMVU. Please don't let someone use KittyLove69xoxo as a USER NAME. We don't want this. We want stability. We want our inventories to load. We want to be able to attach clothing without it taking an hour. We want more groups!

C'mon. Please don't make all the years I've been cheering for you seem like a waste.

Display names can suck it.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Day 274 - Cropped

Almost forgot to do this and I'm almost asleep at the keyboard. I didn't really take a decent pic today, so I had to crop a bit of one that I did take earlier. I actually am inspired to take a really great photo but it just wasn't happening tonight. Goodnight!


Hey hey, it's a mosaic challenge!

So Ryker Beck threw down a challenge that we've been doing over on Plurk today. It's really fun! It's a mosaic challenge, and you answer questions and find pretty pics. I just had to blog it just in case any of you wanted to do one on your own blog, or just play along!

Mosaic Challenge

Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr search. Then, using only the first page, pick an image. Then, copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into this mosaic maker.

[If you find that after you create your mosaic you have white squares, it's just that the person you've chosen has opted out of this service. I had to go back 3 times to get some pics. But it's not that big of a deal. :) ]

1. What is your first name? - Alicia
2. What is your favorite food? - Cheeseburgers!
3. What high school did you go to? – Brewer High School [This pic has nothing to do with the school, but it reminds me of the old guys that came to football games.]
4. What is your favorite color? – Pink!
5. Who is your celebrity crush? – Patrick Dempsey. Oh those eyes!!
6. Favorite drink? - Coke, baby! Real, not diet.
7. Dream vacation? – Italy. I don't know why, but it's always been my dream to visit.
8. Favorite dessert? – Tiramisu
9. What you want to be when you grow up? – Happy. :)
10. What do you love most in life? – Possibilities
11. One Word to describe you. - Eclectic
12. Your flickr name. – Alicia Chenaux

Once you've made and saved your image, upload it to Flickr and join this group so we can all see! There are some truly amazing photographers on Flickr, so it's pretty awesome to just look at all the pics.

Have fun!!

Credits for the photos:
1. Alicia | Pullip Assa, 2. Cheeseburger, 3. Marty Olson explains the origin of the Gopher Crossing sign, 4. H O N E Y C H I L D, 5. Patrick Dempsey, 6. Red Joy!, 7. Un ultimo saluto a Portovenere, 8. Tiramisu, 9. Natal Day Bliss | Mothers Day Special, 10. A Proposal from the Heart, 11. Eclectic JPEG, 12. My photo for my 2-3-6-5 post :)

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Day 273 - Fotografia

I've been trying to learn more with Photoshop lately. Berry had a really awesome tutorial in her blog using the dodge & burn tools, and so I sat around today playing with those tools. Of course, then I was unhappy with everything and ended up putting an "antique photo" filter over the whole deal. But it's not terrible.


Ugh. I'm suddenly really sleepy. So much for writing in my other blog tonight. But here's a song I really like. It's in Spanish, and I don't feel like translating, but it's pretty. :)

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Day 272 - Rest

Sometimes you just need to lie around and do nothing.


Day 271 - Wasn't I the one who caught you when you fell?

I have a bad habit. I have a habit of simply looking at myself, or my surroundings, when I'm in world. I have friends that could probably not pick out of a line up if I had to. Not that I don't think they're worth looking at. Every one of my friends are beautiful, in avatar form, in personality, and in their physical bodies. I also wouldn't say that if I didn't completely believe it. But it just happens that when we're in world, often I'm just looking at my avatar. Call it vanity if you want to, but I spend a lot of time & money & energy on my av, and I like to look at it. :) So it's pretty funny when I'm standing there talking to someone and I'm looking around a store and then I pull back and actually see them standing next to me.


That's my friend Garrett. He totally rocks that look. :) And I didn't even cam up under his skirt!


I don't really know what happened earlier on plurk today. I know the dramatics were brewing before I left to go hang out with my bestie earlier, but no one filled me in. Since the storm hit while I was out, and I was really too buzzed when I got back to bother going back and dig through the wreckage. Why ruin a perfectly wonderful mood with drama that probably has nothing at all to do with me?

I kind of think a lot of people in SL like to hold on to hate. They chew it up like gum, then stick it in their hair, and then get angry because it's stuck. And God knows people seem to love to jump into a battle that isn't theirs to fight. Hey, I've done it, too! LOL But the thing is...forgiveness is so so sweet. Not for the other person - FOR YOU. Nothing says you have to be someone's friend afterwards. You could be, but sometimes you just have to forgive and let them go.

"The hatred you're carrying is a live coal in your heart - far more damaging to yourself than to them."

Of course, I could just be doing that chatty drunk thing right now, so hey, take it all with a grain of salt. But second chances, forgiveness, and open hearts seem like pretty good things to me, sober or not. :)

Friday, August 13, 2010

Day 270 - Yay for water!

So I downloaded the new 2.1.1 beta viewer today. No real reason, I just wanted to see what it was doing. After getting horrific lag with pretty much all of the third party viewers, about a month ago I made the switch to the main client. It took about a week to really get comfortable with it. But after getting about 2 fps with Emerald [if I was lucky], I figured it was better to just learn the darn viewer. I'm actually pretty used to it now, although there are some things I still dislike greatly.

1. No GOOD way to inspect prims.

You know how in the old SL viewer, or in Emerald, you can right click on prims that someone is wearing and up comes a list of each prim, the creator, and the creation date? And you can click to pull up the creator's profile? You can't do that in Viewer 2. Oh, there's some "Object Profile" thing that you can use, but it's not as good and that sucks a LOT. I want the old inspect back. That's how I used to find new stores to go spend money at.

2. Profiles are all stuck in the sidebar.

This is one of the more annoying things. I miss our old profiles. I miss being able to open several, minimize them, and then pull them up later. Like the Inspect function, this was most useful to me for shopping. But I'd also keep several up to check things, and of course it was very very useful for dropping items quickly. Speaking of which, it's also so clunky to create notices with attachments. In the old viewers, you could pull your groups up, and drop things into a notice easily. Now you have to open a new inventory window to do it, and while that doesn't seem like such a hard thing, it is an extra step that would not be necessary if we had the individual windows for profiles & groups like we did in the older viewers.

3. Search is still kind of a mess.

I don't use Search a WHOLE lot, but when I need to find someone's profile, it would be kinda nice to be able to do that without jumping through hoops. Same with land sales and events.

But, there's a lot of good with viewer 2. Alpha layers make me so so happy because it knocks out the need for invisiprims in shoes, and I love that. Nothing made shoes look more cheap than walking across a floor or in some grass and it looked like you had a big clear Homer Simpson shoe on. And in pictures, you couldn't do certain poses or angles because of the invisiprim chopping your leg off. I love the tattoo layers, of course. And I double love being able to add layers. In fact, if it could be bumped up that I could add 10 layers instead of just 5, that would be great.

I also get very minimal lag unless it's just a laggy sim, or something's going on over here on my side, and antialiasing works like a dream for me now. The one thing that I was really really unhappy about before was that I had that issue with the water where it would photograph all crazy like. I'm not sure what they changed, but with the beta 2.1.1 viewer.... check it out!


Pretty water again!! WOOT!

Okay, I'm about to have keyboard face so it is soooo time for bed.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Day 269 - Why didn't she just take him home?

I got photobombed by Ulaa the mermaid today. LOL! I had to show the pic. I was just snapping when she popped up.


So Aldwyn lives on a little island that is part of a bunch of other little connected islands, and you can boat all over the place [provided the sim crossing doesn't kill you] and there are a few public islands for the residents to use. You know, just little places with seats and stuff. Well...


Um. Running over them MIGHT have been my idea... Maybe.


But all I know is that between that and group chat, I had about 10 minutes of straight laughing. I so needed that tonight. :)

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Day 268 - Line of beauty...and a green thing

I was invited tonight to go hear some live music. You all know that I'm not really into live music in SL [although I adore going to see live bands locally], but it was different than what I'm normally used to, so I had a lot of fun. And I got to dance with some of the prettiest girls in SL! :)


I hit the gym earlier today for the first time in almost 2 months, so I'm sore sore sore. I think it's bedtime.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Day 267 - Unwinding

I went out for a pedicure tonight with my bestie. The nail tech raced through my pedicure like her culo was on fire. It was hardly relaxing and she attacked my cuticles like they'd done something wrong to her. I only get pedicures once a month really, so it was pretty disappointing.

Luckily I spent the evening in SL getting my virtual feet rubbed. You know all these shoes I've gotten from the Shoe Fair have taken a toll on my toes!


Sunday, August 8, 2010

Day 266 - Blah blah

I started writing a super long post, but as I have done so many times in the past, I decided not to post it. I kind of feel like I've shared enough deep personal things this month, and you guys don't need to be bothered with it when really, it's just words rambling out of my head. :) I think I need to start blogging in my first life blog again and spare you guys!

There's not all that much going on here. Styling myself up for Shoe Fair posts is taking up quite a bit of time because...well, I'm not awesome at styling myself. lol I'm really not. I know what looks BAD, but I can't always figure out things in my inventory that will look GOOD.

I've been trying to write this post for hours and I keep tabbing to another window and forgetting. So I'll wrap it up here.


Saturday, August 7, 2010

Day 265 - Run, baby.

Today is the 265th day of the project. 100 days to go. That seems like a milestone, doesn't it? I've missed a few days here and there, so my ending date will be closer to my rezday. Who knows. I might even celebrate that this year. I never really have before.

But, back to day 265... I was out at the Shoe Fair earlier, taking some pics right before the gates opened for everyone. This guy came running up to me as I stood there. I mean, running! He started to talk to me, but in French, which I don't know. I guess after realizing that I couldn't speak to him, he RAN off.


I need to get back in world and go take more blog pics for the Shoe Fair blog.

Day 264 - Squeak squeak

I was super excited to be asked to be one of the official Shoe Fair bloggers this year. I've got the blog over to the right side, so you can always clicky if you want to see what's going on there. But I'm sure I'll be spending a lot of time over on the fairgrounds, so you'll see more pics.

I have to show this one, though. I love all the displays out there, but this made me laugh. You know how there's always stories of finding a finger in a can of soda or something? Well, how about a whole foot in your champagne bottle?! :-O

Shoe in the bottle!

Also... I came home from the fair and discovered that I might need an exterminator. I seem to have a mouse problem! What the HECK?


Ack, it's 4am. I need to get in bed!

Thursday, August 5, 2010

day 263 - What does it meeeaaaannnnn????

I was in a bad mood earlier today. I mean, just a foul, bear of a mood. Well, it was easily remedied by eating, but while I was all angry, I was watching some of the YouTube videos I've marked in my favorites. One of them happens to be the Double Rainbow guy. I can't help it. He's hysterical! And I love to watch videos of people filled with joy, and honey, it doesn't get more joyful than that!

I went to XStreet to try to find one, but I couldn't seem to find a listing for a double rainbow. I turned to Plurk, as I usually do, and of course the adorable Aisuru offered to make one for me. I love itttttt!!!


DOUBLE RAINBOW! It's too muchhhhh! Double raaaaiiinnnnbowwww.... It's so intense!

Nothing like a pork chop and a double rainbow. It makes every mood better!

Day 262 - Maybe I should make a farm?

Thank you so so so much to everyone for all their sweet comments, plurks, and IMs today. You guys make my heart sing. :)

I received a few pretty nice gifts too, and from unexpected people! I also think that people think I need pets, because I received a puppy in a bag, a canary, and a pink pony!


I also got a really pretty moon to sit on, and the Avimote poser thing, which is how I managed to keep my arm from being in my dress in the pic! Awesome!

My lack of sleep is seriously catching up with me, so goodnight!

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

The Tale of Two Birthdays

[This is pretty long, and it's really personal. If you're not into that in an SL blog, then you can stop reading right now.]

I was born the day before my oldest sister. My parents always said that she got a baby sister for her 15th birthday. I'm sure her 15th was all but forgotten that year, but she never seemed to care. For all of our lives, we celebrated our birthdays together, with mine usually being the main attraction. It wasn't that I was the favorite, it's just that I was the youngest of three, the family's "angel." To this day, my aunts believe that if I pray for them, it's from my lips to God's ear. My aunt had pneumonia a couple of weeks ago and swears that it's because of my prayers that she recovered. You know how family can be.

Anyway, for as long as I could remember, my sister and I celebrated together. Birthday cakes usually had both our names on it. Sometimes we even received matching gifts when we got older. It was just the way it was. She was more of a mother to me than a sister, and I fought with her like I would have fought with my mom, if my mom wasn't 5'1 of Latin fury.

In 1999, 4 months and 3 days after her 36th birthday, my sister died. It was a surprise. We'd had no time to plan for it. We didn't know there was anything wrong. She had not been close to the family in a while, and had been living with friends after fighting with my mom for the 97,000th time in her life. I had talked to her just that day, and attempted to see her, although she would not open the door for me. I thought she had a cold. She'd asked me to bring her some Gatoraide. I had kind of been mad about it. I was working at the time, and finishing up a semester of college. I had a new boyfriend. You know how it is when you're 22. I was young and spoiled. I had lived through many things, thought I knew it all. Nothing prepared me for someone coming to tell us she was gone. To this day, I still remember the knock on the door, and how my mom and I had been laughing over 'Father of the Bride' just a few minutes before. You never know what's going to change your life. For me, it was that knock on the door.

I changed that day, as anyone would. I became the rock of the family. The caretaker. I blamed myself. I fought with God. I became anxious, scared, exhausted constantly from not sleeping. I worked 12 hour shifts. I went back to school and promptly started cutting classes. I cut my hair short, I got contacts. I cried a lot when no one could see me. I became terrified of death. At one point, months after she had died, my mom looked at me and said, "I'm waiting for you to break down."

The break down didn't come until about 8 years later. It was a slow decline into it, but when it came, it came at probably the worst possible time. But, that's something that I had to work through.

So about 5 years after her death, I started wanting to possibly, maybe, get back to a more normalish life. It's impossible, of course, once you have lost someone you loved that much to do it, but I wanted to try. The one thing that really started to get to me was the birthday thing. My birthday had become "The Day Before Her Birthday." There was no celebrating like there once was. Oh, my boyfriend and my best friend always made sure to try to do something, but what I wanted was for my parents to acknowledge it again. I wanted them to remember that it was my birthday too. I had given a lot of things up for them. I had done a lot of things for them.

In short? I was being kind of selfish. But I've always been of the belief that everyone can be a little selfish on their birthday. It's the one day out of the year that is for YOU. It's all yours, the one day where you are celebrated because you are special and alive and here.

My birthday wasn't like that anymore. I put up with the November depression every year. I had put up with my mom no longer wanting to celebrate Thanksgiving, or Christmas. I had put up with my other sister basically leaving the family. I didn't think that I should have to give up MY day.

So, very quietly, I picked another day. I picked it for me. A day where I could celebrate myself. I could do something nice for me, I could eat anything I wanted, I could have fun and not feel bad about it. I chose the 4th. It seemed like a nice day, and no one else in our family had it. It was MY day. I didn't tell anyone else about it and I was happy. I AM happy with it. I'm perfectly happy now to celebrate the 4th as my birthday in Second Life as well. No one in my physical world has made the kind of celebration that my SL friends have made over my birthday in a long long time. It makes me feel special, and the memories wrap me in warmth when the November depression comes again.

I expect this year will be different. My parents are doing well, and my mom has already talked about cake on my birthday. My RLBF, bestie, and her husband have already made plans to take me out a couple of days before my birthday. It feels like August is really my month, and I love it. I am so much happier right now than I have been in a long time. Having 2 birthdays might not make a lot of sense to some people, but hopefully now that I've explained, it makes sense as to why it's the best plan for me.

Day 261 - Three Things

So I learned 3 things today.

1. When I'm using my male shape and I happen to go out shopping, I really should consider investing in a male AO so that I don't bounce around and walk girly all over the place.

I really need a male AO sometimes. LOL

2. I need to warn people before they come into my house that I have it set so I see the sun & moon only, not local lights. I don't know how I got into that habit, but honestly, it just LOOKS better to me because I usually have my windlight setting on a bright light. But, I really didn't realize that anyone who has it set to show local lights who might come into my house will be blinded immediately.

Oh...so that's what local lights looks like.


And 3. I really did miss DJing. I always have loved to do it, but I did get worn out after a while holding the weekly parties, which I did for pretty much a year straight, minus a week here and there. I've been taking quite a bit of time off this year. Everyone needs a break. But the more I do it again, the more I remember that I love doing it, and I'm always happy to DJ for a friend's party or an event. [I don't like DJing clubs.] Tonight I DJed for the Exodi & WoE sim launch party. It was sooo fun and soooooooo crowded!! I really had a good time, and I hope others did, too. :)


That's one of the new Isolde skins by Exodi, btw. I think it's the Gacha gift makeup one, or the fishing gift one. I'm not in world at the moment to check. I didn't have time to really tweak my face for it, so if it looks strange on me...well, I look strange in most skins other than Belleza these days. LOL It's not the skin's fault, it's my crazy faced shape.

My next post is going to be kind of a personal one, so if you don't care about my RL stuff, then don't read it. LOL Just wait for the next 365 day project post. I promise I won't mind. :)

Monday, August 2, 2010

Day 260 - We're gonna need a bigger boat.

I don't really get the whole Shark Week attraction. I had an acquaintance some years ago who was insane about it, and ended up going to go film some of the documentaries about sharks. It's funny to me seeing people in SL get all nutty happy about it.

Of course, I'm the same person who squealed earlier because Aldwyn mentioned that it's almost band camp time. So ... you know, different strokes. LOL

I guess I just don't care for sharks. I mean, they're not exactly the sweethearts of the aquatic world, right?

I did like the Sharks in West Side Story, though. Hello? Buying on credit is so nice, but one look at them and they were charged twice. Who hasn't been there?

At least Shark Week gives me an excuse to make a cute picture. And that's really all it's about right? How sharks can benefit me? That's what I thought, too.


Use it or don't

I'm not a really great Flickr friend. I like comments, and I'm always happy when someone asks me to add a photo to a group, but I don't get into the whole chatty community type thing like others do, and I'll fully admit that I don't always get to look at all of my Flickr friends' pics.

But earlier I was actually glancing through some, and I came across one of a pair of feet, and the photographer showed some pretty noticeable ankle seams on the skin. Turns out that this person actually made the skin, and mentioned that a blogger pointed out the seam to them.

No skin will be completely seamless. If I get right down and scroll tight onto the ankle area of my Belleza skin, there is the faint seam line. This is not the fault of the skin maker. This is simply what they have to work with. But again, I had to scroll tight tight in on the skin to see it, and the seam on this other skin was pretty noticeable.

But, a blogger did point it out, and supposedly the skin maker was working to correct it. All should have been well, except... the comments on the picture.

"you don't suck, bloggers who bitch about creator's work suck."

"bloggers make me laugh when they review stuff, purely because they act like they know everything when in reality, they arent the ones spending sleepless nights on a project."

"the one who suck is the blogger who writ s**ts"

Oh. Okay. So...again, we're not allowed to REVIEW an item? We're not allowed to point out a flaw that someone might be extremely disappointed with after spending money? They accuse us of pooping rainbows over designers, but then when someone DOES point something out and gives an honest review, the creator gets butthurt!

Here's the thing - As bloggers, we rarely blog something that we outright dislike. If someone has taken the time to style and photograph and write, there's a pretty good chance that in general, they LIKE the item. However, if there is a flaw, a seam, a smudge, there is no reason at ALL that it should not be pointed out if they are not being an asshole about it. I know that I have a few people who tell me "I ran out to buy *whatever item* after I saw it on you!" I would be so embarrassed if they did that and I had not told them that there was some crap on it and I'd Photoshopped it out, or angled it so that it could not be seen or yelled about how flawless it was.

I don't know what this particular blog post said about the seams on the skin. The creator did not at any point say that the blogger was bitching, and even said that because it was pointed out, that helps them to make it even BETTER next time. But those comments...those got to me. Because the first two? Are by creators in SL. So I guess should I ever decide to feature something of theirs in my blog [which is unlikely now], I better eat some skittles so I can get that rainbow going.

Bloggers don't need to be mean or overly bitchy when reviewing items, I highly agree. But creators? Oh, you guys have GOT to man or woman up and understand that not everyone is going to love everything you do. If we point out a flaw or something that could be better, use the criticism and MAKE it better if it's possible! Don't get all emotastic and cry about how the evil evil bloggers hate you. USE IT. And hey, if that WAS your best best work and nothing else could possibly be done, advocate for your item! Feel free to SHOW why it's as good as it's going to get. I know I'm far more likely to respect a creator who can back up their own work than one who gets their friends to do it for them.

But, this is just my opinion. Take it for what it's worth.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Day 259 - Hunting

August! My month! [And apparently a lot of my friends' month too.]

I spent a couple of hours doing the Home & Garden Hunt today. We all know how I feel about hunts, but this was one that I was super excited for. With a couple of exceptions, it was fairly easy. Laggy, of course, but only one store owner was really kind of sucky about hiding & moving around their gift.

When people do rez, it's fun to look at folks doing the hunts.

This mermaid was about to be fried and on my plate with a side of fries. She kept lagging me out.

I like fish better fried.

I teleported in to Reek and landed practically on top of this guy. No idea who he is, but I hope he didn't mind me shoving him to the side and out of peoples' way.

Chest looker

Oh. I didn't realize live sex was part of the hunt experience.


But, I got the whole hunt finished. There are 50 stops, but most of them do go pretty fast. I spent a little time tonight starting to unpack my goodies.


I've only gotten through the first... oh, maybe not even the first 10 folders, since I've been reading and doing other things, but so far I love everything I've gotten. Considering I usually only keep about 25% of the items of any hunt I do, I consider this quite the success so far.

I'm freezing [for some reason it's super cold in my house] so I think it's time to get in bed and snuggle in with a good book.

Day 258 - Yep, it was a Saturday.

Like a few of my pics lately, this one has nothing to do with anything. I was standing around while I wrote in another journal, and when I looked back, I just snapped a pic of where I was standing. It's kind of relaxing, playing around in photoshop when I'm not doing a post for the style blog. I think it came out kind of nice. I'm pleased with it, at any rate, and isn't that the most important thing?


Much to do tomorrow, so I think it's bedtime.