Calista's Questions

Being shy seems to be a topic of discussion lately, starting over in Cen's blog and now Calista has some questions. Rather than answer a novel in her blog, I thought I'd bring it over here to mine. :)


1. Have you ever had a time where you IM'd someone out of the blue and are really glad now that you did? OR vice versa.

This is going to be a long answer. :) First, I don't think I've ever IMed someone out of the blue, which really sucks, now that I think about it. LOL Well, I don't know. I may have IMed Calista first, back when she was Calaya. Maybe. I don't remember. But the two best relationships I could have ever asked for in SL came from out of the blue IMs, and I will be eternally grateful that they chose to IM me first. :)

Back in January, when I was doing my $5 A Day project and posting a million blogs in a day, I was terribly lonely. The groups I was in never wanted people to talk, and it's really like being the new kid at school in the middle of the year. Everyone has a friend already. I was *this* close to just packing it all in, because you have to admit - SL is loads better when you have someone to share it with. But then one day I get this random IM from Cen. She just wanted to tell me that she liked my blog, and she also was very budget conscious in SL, and did I want to go explore with her? This is a picture from the first day we met. We both look a bit different now. LOL




I think that's the night we went to Avilion too, and I saw her nipples for the first time because we were changing into dresses and her top wouldn't rez. LMAO We've been close friends ever since. :)

The second random IM came from Levi back in March. :) I had dipped my toe into the SL dating scene and was kind of seeing this guy that DJed at the club where I was working. I wasn't all that into him, which Cen could tell you is very true, but he was ok. We'd gone out to Sine Wave one night after our shifts ended, and we were checking out dances when out of the blue, I get an IM telling me that my profile was funny.

Now you have to remember at this time, I had gotten used to random IMs from strangers telling me that they liked my blog. To have someone say they liked my profile was a novelty! I said thank you and then we...just kept talking. For over an hour that night. And really, we just haven't shut up since then. LOL The more we talk, the more we want to talk, I guess. I can't think of a better person for me to be with in SL, and I honestly mean that. We're just so compatible in so many ways. It's hard for me to even think about what my SL would be like without him. So thank you, baby, for being nosy with my profile. :)

2. How do you feel about privacy in SL?

I'm not sure that it's a big secret that I value privacy in SL and RL. As bloggers/plurkers/twits/what-have-you, we do tend to give up a bit of privacy for the chance to let our opinions known. However this doesn't mean that it should be a free for all. I'm also big on having private homes BE just that - a private residence. Everyone is entitled to have a space that is just for them, and anyone else that they choose to share it with. Levi & I are more than happy to have our friends over to our skybox, but we do not appreciate strangers in there. Some people in SL don't care if someone they don't know uses their home when they're gone. Some people do. If you're unsure, just use some good manners and keep out of a house that doesn't belong to you if it looks like someone's living there. If you DO end up in someone's house and they come home, apologize and leave. Don't act like a dick and tell them that it's SL, you have a right to go anywhere you want. You don't.

[Sorry. The "strangers in your home" topic will always be my hot button issue. LOL]

3. Is your friends list sacred to you? Or is it just filled up with people you know and some you don't?

I do sweeps of my friends list usually every month. I keep all calling cards, but usually only the people that I talk to, or want to talk to at some point, remain on my list. There are some that are there for sentimental reasons too, like people I met during my first few days who helped me out, and even though we never speak anymore, I can't bring myself to take them off my list. And I can't take off the people who are no longer in SL, like Sidonie. I'll wait for LL to do that for me.

4. Do you think a friends list has some sort of Social status to it?

I don't see how it could, considering no one can see it but you. LOL I do know that there have been times that people have added me just to say that I'm on their list. And I know it because they've TOLD me this, which amazes me to no end. I'm definitely nothing special. LOL Of course, those are the people who usually get cut off the list. I think maybe it's a status thing when you're new. I know I was thrilled when Tymmerie added me to her list because I considered her such a SLebrity. But as time goes by, you learn that status in a friends list doesn't count for much. It's more about the quality of the people you have on it. [Tymm is still on my list, btw, but I'm not starstruck when she signs in anymore. LOL]

5. And lastly, how do you feel about random friend requests? With not even a Hi first.

I REALLY would prefer for people to talk to me first before requesting to add me. Usually if I get a random friends request, I'll IM the person to ask who they are and what they want. More often than not, as soon as we talk for a couple of minutes, I approve the request anyway, so it's not like I'm super hard to get on anyone's list. LOL

Oh, and that really only goes for my SL friends list. I'll pretty much add anyone to my Plurk list. I like the karma. :-p