Saturday, May 24, 2008

How to piss me off for the low price of $100L.

I'm about to rip my hair out.

If you ask someone who has basic photoshop skills and does moderately decent profile pictures to do a photo for you, and you're paying for it, this means you want a good picture. Am I correct in assuming that?

So if this is true, then there's a few things you need to remember.

1. If the photographer asks you to do something, you do it. Whether it's take your facelight off, or point your eyes somewhere, or remove your god awful bling, just do it. Learn what "bling off" means and do it. Or stop wearing it!!!

2. Have kind of an idea as to what you want. If you really don't and you just want something nice, let them know that you're allowing them to be creative. When they ask you "Do you want sweet delicate lady or dirty lice infested bitch?" it is not the time to answer "Ok."

3. Don't get off the posestand or poseball before you're given the all clear. It's a waste of hard drive space to catch you in mid leap because you thought they were done.

4. Please watch what you're wearing and check your jewelry. I swear I'm going to start holding classes in "Moving Your Jewelry...aka Hey you, your necklace is embedded into your jugular vein."

Ok, I feel better now. And someone the next street over is blasting Louie Armstrong's "What A Wonderful World" which is charming me back into a good mood. :)


Kharisma Llewellyn said...

..."Hey you, your necklace is embedded into your jugular vein."

I don't know why, but I found that comment extremely amusing.

Perhaps because if I had a nickel for every time I'd SEEN that....I'd have a lot of nickels. :P

CeN said...

I'll take "dirty lice infested bitch" for 500 please Alex.

How does that sweet little mind of yours come up with these sayings?