Friday, February 22, 2008

I never get enough sleep!

I fully expected, and planned on, sleeping late today. But nooooooooo. I'm woken up by my mom calling, all upset as is the norm these days, and I spent an hour calming her down. I was about to go back to sleep after we hung up when she called again just to get the moral support, part deux.

And now I'm taking Mr. Kitty to the vet, because his fat butt jumped down wrong [he's not the most graceful of kitty cats] and he's been limping since last night. I'm worried that he may have sprained his ... wrist? Ankle? What to you call the front leg thing? lol Dammit, I don't know. But I'm worried, so off we go to the vet.

I'm trying not to put my Crankypants on, but good grief! Is it a full moon or something?

So what I would like for you all to do is please leave me a comment with a joke, or somewhere funny to visit, whether it's just a website or a place in SL to explore. Humor is the word of the day. :)

Now wish me luck. Mr. Kitty isn't too keen on visiting people, especially a vet!


Valryn Vandeverre said...

You asked for it: Good or bad.. you asked for it :)

First up:

A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun. He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault. She says "But sir, its just a sperm bank!", "I don't care, open it now!!!" he replies. So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the sperm samples. The guy says "Take one of those sperm samples and drink it!", she looks at him "BUT, they are sperm samples???" , "DO IT!". So the nurse sucks it back. "That one there, drink that one as well.", so the nurse drinks that one as well. Finally after 4 samples the man takes off his ski mask and says, "See honey - its not that hard."

--ugh, nasty ... up next :)---

There are four kinds of sex :

HOUSE SEX - When you are newly married and have sex all over the house in every room.

BEDROOM SEX - After you have been married for a while, you only have sex in the bedroom.

HALL SEX - After you've been married for many, many years you just pass each other in the hall and say "FUCK YOU"

COURTROOM SEX - When your wife and her lawyer fuck you in the divorce court in front of many people for every penny you've got.

-hehe.. had enough yet.. ok saved the best for last :)

A couple just got married and on the night of their honeymoon before passionate love, the wife tells the husband, "Please be gentile, I'm still a virgin." The husband being shocked, replied, "How's this possible? You've been married three times before." The wife responds, "Well, my first husband was a gynecologist and all he wanted to do was look at it. My second husband was a psychiatrist and all he wanted to do was talk about it. Finally, my third husband was a stamp collector and all he wanted to do was...oh, do I miss him!"

WillowC said...

Here you go, the funniest site on the entire internet:

And a BIG hug :D

Anonymous said...

My personal fav ...

Stupid people are like slinkies
They really have no purpose
But they sure do make you smile
When you push them down the stairs

M said...

Let's see...I will leave you with my favorite YouTube video to watch whenever I am feeling down or cranky and I need a pick-me-up.

Britain's Got Talent - Paul Potts

If you are familiar with shows like "American Idol" then you'll get what is happening in the clip. Basically this is Paul Potts's first audition before Simon Cowell and the other show judges. Watch the expression on Simon's face as Paul's performance starts - priceless!

I'll also leave you with my favorite LOLCATS site:

And supposedly the "funniest joke in the world", as voted on by over 100,000 people:

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”

The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“

Hope your day gets better! *hug*