Monday, June 2, 2008

I See You On The Screen, I Get To Freaking...

Ok, so the blog is back to blue. But only because I was putting together a profile picture for myself, since I only seem to do profile pictures for other people, and I thought "Hey...that would make a cute header." So...poof. LOL It's cute and summery. One day I'll actually do a better one.

SO now to the real post.

There's been some talk lately [at least in my circle] about the fine art of cybersex. Well, the fine art of cybersex as it is in SL, which as anyone can tell you, is a heck of a lot different than cybering in a chatroom or on instant messenger. And, quite honestly, I think it can be a heck of a lot more satisfying.

So talking to a few women I know, I've put together a list of things that may help some of you men out when trying to get us into the pixelsack.

1. Your attachment isn't the most important thing in the world, but you probably should have a semi-decent looking one.

Most women in SL have seen the Xcite penises, so while they are very nice looking, don't whip it out and act like it's the biggest best thing ever. But if you're still sporting that plain plastic looking one, you might want to think about getting a new one. Unless you're simply into boinking newbie girls who don't know any better, in which case that's probably fine. But most women appreciate if you put a little more effort into getting something decent looking. I went on SLExchange and took a look around and if you're not into going with a standard Xcite, the Lotus cock from Midnight Lotus and the Real Penis from Dark Delights are good choices. There are good looking ones around that aren't very expensive, too, if you just look around. As long as it's not looking like white plastic and it's not 40 inches long, you should be ok anyway. You're men, you know what looks good. :)

2. Don't rely on your attachment to do your work for you! And don't pressure us to get our own little attachments to do your work for you!

This is pretty much a given. It's one thing for your and your girl to click on things to make them rise but it's quite another to spend the whole encounter clicking so that you both are chat spammed. It's like those spankers. Once is funny. Twice is kind of amusing. 50 times is annoying and could cause us to get up, put on our pixelpants, and teleport away. Most women don't usually bother buying a prim va-jay-jay because we don't REALLY need it. Unlike you men, our bits are already nice and pretty and right on our bodies.

3. Foreplay, please.

Much like in the real world, we need foreplay most of the time. Oh I'm not saying there won't be times that we're so horny for you that we won't want to get it on in the middle of an island when all we were there to do was check out cottages. Ahem. BUT, most of the time, we like to be cuddled, stroked, kissed, caressed, and made to feel utterly sexy and beautiful and desirable and all that good stuff. Not just in the 5 minutes before you're ready to get it on either. Notice if she's wearing something cute, even if it's just an accessory. If you're out together with people, send her an IM telling her how she's the sexiest woman in the room. If you're both online but you're doing your own thing before meeting up later, IM her to tell her how much you miss her. [Levi and I actually do this during the day when we can't be together and I'll tell ya, it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, and increases how much I want to see him later!!] You can actually have foreplay allllll day if you want. ;)

4. Emote, emote, emote. But let us play too!

This is where the scripted attachment part DOESN'T come in. In fact, get yourself hard and leave it alone. You must be able to emote with your partner. The more time you spend with someone, the more you will get to know what they like and what they don't. If it's your first time, you might be trying to impress, but don't overdo it. Don't UNDERdo it! Obviously screaming "RU THER YET!~@!" isn't going to do much after 10 minutes of silence. As things get closer to the actual..umm...goal, then yes, typing probably takes a backseat. ;) But before that, learn to emote and don't rely on the poseballs or scripted attachments. It can be highly distracting at times if you keep flipping her around on a menu-driven bed, or you tell her "Ok, get up and move over here now" to a new poseball. If you're really into what you're doing, and your partner is as into it too, you might not even have TIME to move to a new pose!

Although most men do take control of the cybering, which is cool, you must not type out a whole scene and leave us with nothing to play off of. For example:

"[12:01] Bob Buttons gazes into your beautiful eyes, lowering himself down on you and sliding between your legs. He hears your gasps as you move together in perfect harmony. He kisses you, whispering sweet nothings, as your moans become louder and the both of you climax at the same time, floating amongst the stars."
"[12:27] Slutty McSlutterson: Thanks?"

No no no. Bob would have been better off stopping when he slid between her legs and waited for her to respond. How is she supposed to moan about how big you are if you finish before she knows it? Maybe she has tricks she wants to show off, too. But you might never know if you finish before she even gets started. Hehe...well. I guess that's true in any world.

5. Don't just get up and leave...unless she wants you to.

This is one of those real world rules that also means something in SL. Maybe you're done, but no one wants to feel like just your cheap toy by you saying "Well, see ya later" 2 minutes after you're done. Cuddling afterwards and talking is one of the best things [in my opinion, of course] of the cyber thing. If you did it right, and with someone you care about, you just shared a lovely experience together. Don't dirty it by teleporting away immediately, or logging off. Take at least 5-10 minutes to just talk afterwards, just so your partner doesn't feel like an escort. [Unless you just HAVE to go, in which case you better apologize a lot and maybe send a gift later.] If you don't live together and you did the deed in your place, don't just scoot her out like a dirty mistake. If you did it at her place, cuddle for a bit and then offer to leave. 9 times out of 10, she won't want you to go right away.

[Also, your mileage may vary with this one. Some couples really don't mind getting up and going right afterwards, and if you're in a relationship or privileged friendship like this, then obviously #5 doesn't apply to you.]

Ladies, and guys too, if you have more to add to this list, or you have more to discuss, post a comment!!


Dyami Jameson said...

Good points Alicia.....

They're going to think we're all a bunch of cyber-crazed people....and wonder just what happens after those "Hump Day" parties.....lmao

Quaintly Tuqiri said...

I like it blue! And that is such a cute header, Alicia!

Actually I think the attachment is not such a big deal. If the foreplay & emoting is done right, by the time both people have their clothes off and are going at it, she's not even going to notice whether he has an attachment or not ;)

CeN said...

I think my virgin ears have stopped burning now and I can finally post a comment ;P

I think #4 is a good point and rarely mentionned, not just for cybering but for other types of RP as well.

It doesn't matter if you write the longest most amazing thing, if the person you are with has nothing to play off it's hardly a two sided interaction.

I think it's important to leave the other an opening or some options for ways to respond. It may mean the interaction goes in a slightly different direction than you had scripted in your head, but that can be a good thing.

LOL ok back to blushing now :)

CeN said...

I'm still giggling and saying va-jay-jay over and over in my head.

Alicia Chenaux said...

Dyami - Well, I know what usually happens to me after those parties. LMAO I can't speak for the rest of you!

Quaintly - Very good point! I can honestly say that sometimes I wouldn't know if the attachment is on or not because I'm totally in to what's going on.

Cen - Virgin ears? Pfft. LMAO! But yes, RPing has to be done by taking turns. No one likes to play with someone who doesn't let you play back.

CeN said...

Well... my ears are virgins!

Anyway I thought of more to add to your list.

Pace and rhytm (get your mind out of the gutter!) sometimes LONG absences or pauses can wreck the mood... I know I know... sometimes you need to pause but keep in mind someone is on the other end waiting.

Asking about RL in the heat of the moment. Imagine you are texting away and the scene is progressing along then you read "what are you doing right now in RL?" um... how about we save that discussion until AFTER what we're doing here reaches it's naturally conclusion.

Alicia Chenaux said...

LOL! Get out of the gutter?? This whole topic is rolling in the gutter!

Pace IS very important. Sometimes you need time to think or type or ..umm...other things, but yes, you have to remember that someone is on the other side needing to play too. If you're with someone a while, you learn their rhythm too, which is why I think it's better to do this with someone that you actually like rather than just a heck of a lot of one night stands.

I don't mind the RL question if it can be answered quickly. "Are you touching yourself?" "Yes." That's fine. But if you're going to require more details, then that's a whole other kind of cyber.

CeN said...

Ok I guess a quick question like that isn't so bad, but I do think it's important to time these things and be careful not to ruin the moment.
Should also have your bio break and get a drink of water before hand LOL.

Kirk said...

Little late and probably missed the comment party, but wanted to add from a guys perspective on the attachment, it's something we're programmed to think about. But in my current situation, after being a tad nervous about the details of if/when to attach our first night, I didn't get a chance. It was all emoted, not a poseball in sight. After month or more now (yeah I suck for not knowing), it still hasn't come "up". I had chalked it up to women being less concerned visually, but the pacing comments ring true as well. With the right flow, timing, and a quality animation, you simply can't tell if it's there or not.

Still, the guy in me can't help but think I'm cheating her out of something. Mmm, I'll make a mental note to act like an adult and ask her about it. ;-)